Yongfook is a web producer and usability consultant based in Tokyo

On a forum I belong to, someone recently started a thread entitled “Describe a day in your life - ten years from now”. Here’s what I came up with. Disclaimer: I have a reputation for being a braggart on said forum (my “forum character”. which happens to be my actual character too) but really, none of this stuff it completely outside the realm of possibility, I feel…

7:00 - I wake up and take a look at the day’s press. Wired has name-dropped me again. Forbes seems to think they know how much I’m worth. Checking my mails I see that I’ve been invited to speak at the 2017 FOWA conference in London. Again. Better start thinking of a clever presentation.

7:30 - Take a shit on my flying robot toilet and have a shower.

8:00 - Wake up the children and ask what they would like for breakfast. My children, having been raised on excellent home-cooking (my wife and I are accomplished cooks) have no desire to eat the usual sugar-laden cereals and pop-tarts that the other kids do. My son asks for egg & soldiers (I make the soldiers look like little men) and my daughter wants papaya with lime squeezed over it. I cook their breakfast.

8:30 - I kiss my wife on the head before leaving the house. She’s still sleeping. My wife is a famous architect and works mostly from home in her little studio. I head off to work. Hmm which car today…Ferrari or Maserati. I take the Maserati.

9:00 - Waiting on my desk are the daily earnings reports that my assistant has printed out. I give them a cursory glance. My online media empire is doing well and is now generating enough revenue to support 100 full-time staff.

10:00 - Meeting with R&D. We brainstorm and conceptualise new ideas. Although I’ve hired the best, brightest minds in the industry I’m still very hands on. I’ve built up everything we see around us from nothing and feel a massive sense of responsibility. I still can’t let anyone work without my input. Not yet. Maybe some day.

11:00 - Sitting in on an interview with a guy wanting an entrepreneur-in-house job. I google his name quietly. Nothing comes up. Sorry mate, not a chance.

12:00 - Lunch at a place across town. After lunch I visit one of the office’s of my sister’s design agency. She’s not around. In Paris, they tell me. I’ll shoot her a mail when I get back to the office.

14:00 - Investment / acquisition talks with a small startup. A large part of our business is now as venture capitalists in the online world. We’re the best in the industry as we are also a production house who knows our shit. Due Diligence regarding web assets is like breathing to us. The startup looks promising. The director reminds me of myself, 10 years ago.

17:00 - I call my dad. Our restaurant venture in London is going great. He sounds genuinely happy - running a successful restaurant is something he’s wanted to do ever since retiring. Dad says the BBC interviewed him again. We chit-chat about the Tokyo and New York branches planned for next year.

18:00 - Wife calls. Are we going out or staying in for dinner? I tell her we’re going out and book a table at the family’s favourite restaurant - the kids love the place as it’s run by “the guy from tv”. At the restaurant we let the kids order for us. They have excellent taste in food (been taught well). I let my daughter try some wine, she squishes up her face.

20:00 - My wife takes the children home. I go back to the office for a while. We just took delivery of 100 Aeron chairs for the staff. Everyone is smiling and bouncing up and down on their new chairs. I sit down to some paperwork and visit the development team working on a couple of projects that I expect great things from.

22:00 - Head home. The kids are already in bed. My wife and I sit in the pool (a beautiful infinity pool that she designed) with a glass of champagne and watch the hover-cars fly by in the distance.

So that’s me in 10 years. What about you?

And yes, I posted all that in the hope that my desire to be a good family man and my relentless ambition will make up for the fact that I have a tiny penis and thus still enable me to TOTALLY GET LAID with a woman in real life.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 9th, 2007 at 11:49 pm and is filed under My Pathetic Love Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.