Hong Kong vs. Japan - Objectively Dissecting Two Societies With My Tweezers Of Biracial Authority
Alternative title: “How Both Of These Countries Crush My Soul And The Various Ways In Which They Redeem Themselves - An Essay On What I’d Ditch ‘n’ What I’d Keep, For When I Rule The World And Everyone Is Biracial. Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!“.
Recently I went to Hong Kong for a week, marking my 3rd visit there and further strengthening my terrifyingly baseless, armchair authority on the country, the people and the culture. I myself am half Singaporean-Chinese (other half British) and I live in Tokyo, having lived in Japan for 4 years now. It is because of this unique combination of Chinese, British and Japanese experiences that I think you’ll find I am the law on any and all things related to the comparison of Japan and the ex-abused-child-to-Britain’s-violently-drunk-colonially-ruling-father, Hong Kong.
In between lazing by the pool and gorging myself brainfricked on dim sum, I occasionally ventured out into the town to mix with the people of Hong Kong. It was during these times I made observations and in my head made a series of casual comparisons to life in Japan. I now bestow this knowledge onto you, so that we may build my vision of a beautiful Eurasia together.
Round 1 - The Food
I am outrageously biased in this category, having been reared from birth on Chinese food. My palate with Japanese food is developing, but in my mind’s eye I still see my Japanese palate in the form of Sloth from The Goonies clumsily stabbing a fork into a whole, raw fish and eating it whilst laughing maniacally and covering onlookers with fish bits and retarded spittle as they gaze on in horror and teeter precariously on the brink of projectile vomiting. My Chinese palate, on the other hand, would have a well-defined 6-pack, a pendulous cock that could also be used as a fearsome bludgeoning tool and he would be able to tell if food is perfectly cooked or not by unconventional and arbitrary methods of measurement, such as how well you can use it as a hat, whose genitals it resembles the most, or the sound it makes when you put it in a trebuchet and catapult it into the face of a child.
I had a truly dizzying array of amazing food in Hong Kong. From art-on-a-plate at flamboyant restaurants atop 5-star hotels to basic, hearty local cuisine in rustic roadside shacks, my gastronomic adventure ran the entire gamut of the Hong Kong food spectrum - and it was all delicious. Every chilli-oiled, chocolate-powdered, coriander-garnished, crisply-fried, succulently-braised, delicately-steamed bite of it. I think I just made a little cum in my pants.
However, dining in Hong Kong has one caveat, and it’s almost a deal-breaker. The wine. It’s fricking stupidly priced. My metamorphosis into a pretentious wine-drinking uber-snob has been facilitated in Japan by the fact that here, booze is the magical lubrication that keeps the cogs of Japanese society groaning round, and as such all of it - including wine - is dirt cheap. I can get a nice bottle of wine in a restaurant in Japan for around 4000-yen. In HK I would have to pay twice that.
I asked someone in the know why this is the case, and the reasoning was that in HK, wine still has an “elitist” image. Upon learning this, my frustration almost melted away into a smug sense of self-satisfaction as I gingerly gulped down another HK$100 glass of exceedingly average bordeaux - but in the end I was still a little miffed at paying through the nose for something the French probably use for cooking with.
Conclusion: Hong Kong has a fantastic array of wonderfully rich food. The cost of dining is comparable to that of Tokyo, unless you are a raging alcoholic like myself. In which case you’re fricked. A DRAW.
Round 2 - The People
If there is one thing that I’ve learned about the people of Hong Kong it’s that they have a general disdain for all other forms of life. Whether it’s waiters whose expression seems to scream “oh god not another FRICKING CUSTOMER” or shop staff who would sooner lay a turd into their hand, splat it on their face and say “FLUBALUBALUBALUB” than, oh I don’t know, smile once a month, the citizens of Hong Kong gave me the impression that they are a nation of people tremendously ill-equipped for the service industry.
Japan, on the other hand, excels at friendly, smiling service whilst still retaining a comforting veneer of insincerity (waiting staff that try to be too friendly just get on my tits) . Perhaps I have simply grown used to this - like a dog being beaten so much that it assumes the owner must be justified in doing so - but I really missed Japan’s smiling, positive staff, efficient (if impersonal) service and general refinement of the relationship between the business and the customer. Simple things like the absence of anyone screaming out Irrashaimase! when I entered a shop were enough to cause a semi-pavlovian reaction resulting in me either freezing in terror or hurling myself at the nearest crockery shelf in sheer confusion.
On a far more superficial level, Hong Kong men - barring a few exceptions - are terrible dressers. Or at least, compared to what I am used to seeing from the Japanese masses, dress sense in Hong Kong is at best, rudimentary. Bear in mind that this is coming from a self-proclaimed, fop-tastic metrosexual, but I actually stopped at one point and attempted to count ANY men walking down a busy pedestrian area who were wearing something on their feet other than white trainers or flip flops, over a five-minute period. I didn’t even get into double digits. Either Hong Kong men need some educating, or I was out on the wrong day. One thing’s for sure though - that was an alarmingly gay thing for me to do.
Fear not, I’ll be commenting on the women in their very own section, later on.
Conclusion: Japan hands down. Hong Kong trailing far behind.
Round 3 - The City
Hong Kong fascinates me. Take any given block of town and you’ll find a rich tapestry of gleaming, new buildings forged from steel and glass, to knackered, mould-covered townhouses from decades ago, slowly being eroded and eaten away by the city, silently begging passers by for the sweet release of being smashed to shit with a demolition ball. Of course you’ll find similar contrasts between old and new in any city - including those in Japan - but I think in Hong Kong the extremes are much further apart. One of my favourite HDR shots from my trip illustrates this quite well and is a scene that you’ll probably have some difficulty replicating in Japan.
The reason for this, I think, is Japan’s constant cycle of destroying and rebuilding. Whether this is a byproduct of a culture that has a history peppered with mass-destruction, or whether it is an altogether more simple result of a construction industry generously steeped in corruption, I’m not sure. I do know, however, that in Tokyo buildings are meant to last for - on average - about 25 years. This means that at any given turn, your eyes will cast upon an array of buildings that are all, rather underwhelmingly, around the same age. Whilst this makes for lots of snazzy-looking new developments, it means the old flavour of the city is lost very swiftly.
Conclusion: Hong Kong wins for having way more knackered, mould-covered buildings that make me ponder retrospectively man’s-inhumanity-to-man (or some other shit (TM)) before hunting down a Starbucks to troll for young-professional cafe ass.
Round 4 - The Women
I was never one of those guys who was totally into Japanese women. Partly this is because I find that kind of blanket generalisation (”Japanese women are so HWA@@@T!”) ridiculous, and partly because I’m so in love with myself as to not really give much of a crap either way. However, walking around Hong Kong, it became hugely apparent to me that actually, Japanese women ARE so HWA@@@T!!1.
However, naturally there are exceptions to the rule and looks are subjective anyway yadda yadda. Bearing that in mind, I’ve narrowed it down to 1 main reason as to why Japanese women are superior to the females of Hong Kong, and that is: Japanese women know how to dress.
Or, specifically, Japanese women have a wardrobe that consists of more than just jeans, t-shirts and flip flops. 90% of the women I saw in Hong Kong were wearing exactly that. Japanese women seem much more imaginative and inventive than this in their everyday dress - ironic, when you consider that the Japanese youth are often portrayed as having a kind of herd mentality that eschews individualism. Perhaps I was just unlucky, perhaps I have become the generalisation-spewing, tentacle-porn-loving Japanophile freak I have always endeavored to not become, or perhaps I’ve become so cripplingly metrosexual that I can only relate to women who wear shoes with the same amount of gay-tastic PIZAZZ (TM) as the ones I wear.
YOU DECIDE! Which one would you take home…
or…
Conclusion: J-girls FTW.
If you have any of your own HK/Japan observations, why not enlighten everyone in the comments section?
Speaking of amazingly average peasant housing in HK reminded me of these pictures by famed HK-based journalist Michael Wolf, really worth a look if you’ve never seen them, dear boy. http://www.photomichaelwolf.com/china_multiples/
hk bf wins hands down compared to the jap one any day. i dont knw. only had one of each. maybe it’s the bent dick. meh
I’ve heard that the reason buildings only last for 25-odd years in Japan is because of earthquakes and the need to constantly upgrade their stability. Or it could be the corruption, I don’t know. But the thing I noticed first, going to Hong Kong after 6 months in Japan, was how bloody tall all the buildings were! They don’t have to think about earthquakes so you can find apartment buildings as tall as Landmark Tower everywhere. I lived in one of them at Tung Chung.
That said, the old, grimy buildings are pretty interesting in Hong Kong. Those HDR shots of yours looked awesome - and somehow…completely normal? Like, I could believe that it was Hong Kong. The Tokyo shots also looked awesome but it kinda seemed…not quintessentially Tokyo.
The things I liked about Hong Kong over Japan were the shopping and the prevalence of English. I don’t speak enough Japanese yet, so Hong Kong was a relief.
Things I like about Japan over Hong Kong: the food. I’m not good at Chinese food. I had to pretend I was vegetarian so as to not offend my hosts when they offered me things like chicken feet. Also, Japan has Akihabara, Kyoto, and Harajuku/Shibuya (although Hong Kong had the same kinds of clothes but cheaper).
Japan wins for me but Hong Kong is a close second. I think that you have it best as you are now: living in Tokyo and being able to puddle-hop to Hong Kong for 25,000yen easily.
I am slowly getting a little spoiled and blase about the hot ladies here in Kyoto, but I am still well aware that the proportion of ‘doable’ ladies in England was about 2%, where I live now it’s about 30% and when I take a trip into Sanjo or Osaka it rises do a shocking 50%. If only I was able to say hi to one.
Andy > have you tried “molester noting” at Starbucks? It’s like when you told girls at middle school you fancy them via a handwritten note shoved into their bag, except with the chicks at Starbucks there is way less bleeding when you eventually make the sex.
You had me at ‘way less bleeding.’
Come to think of it, I just discovered I invented molester noting. Well the first half of it. The making of the sex with one of my many Bux-groupies is proving to be like getting the cat into the bath once you’ve coaxed him to the bathroom door with a trail of chocolatey treats and soothing vocal platitudes. You won’t believe the grip of a bux molestee’s fingertips on bedroom door jamb.
Self five for using the word ‘jamb’. Oh… THERE’S why can’t get laid.
By the by, I’m glad news of my Starbucks addiction/perversion has made it all the way to Tokyo. It should really help me broaden the scope of my ‘operation’ to Akihabara-based cafe-shaped-poon-magnets.
Can you explain the ‘cafe-meru’ thing my students told me about today? Apparently it is something frequented by an ‘Akiba’ and involves French maid waitresses addressing you as ‘go-shujin’ when you walk through the door instead of the usual ‘irrashaimase’. Fried gold.
The vice-like grip on the bedroom door jamb (which I will admit is a word completely alien to me, so self five yourself again. wait. that sounded HOT) can be alleviated simply by spiking their double-latte-frappa-mint-greentea-turbo-guarana-infused one-cup mocha with a small amount of muscle relaxant.
This also means they end up shitting the bed, but for me that’s kind of a bonus. It’s like fireworks at the end of a super mario level. Only brown.
living in hong kong the last two years, i’ve learned that “thank you’, “excuse me”, “sorry” and “please” are almost like obsolete words. if i wasn’t chinese, i would’ve thought that those words don’t exist in the chinese language.
yongfook, regarding muscle-relaxant: no it doesnt make them shit on bed. you must have poked the wrong hole!
Jon, regarding the part about surly customer service people in HK, be prepared to face the same thing when you’re here in SG.
Then again, due to the IMF - World Bank Meetings held here, we now have the 4 Million Smiles campaign (yet another campaign) where you’d be dazzled by our brilliant smiles (as if).
Hey I smile. A lot. But I don’t think most of my countrymen & countrywomen do. Don’t believe moi? Too bad ’cause as my friends will tell you - I can’t freaking lie. :) Read: http://lifes-ironies.blogspot.com/2006/08/four-million-smiles-where-fiak-are.html
People of HK sound amazingly just like the unwashed herds of Sweden. Except that the Swedes are Swedish, and not Chinese. Everything else is exactly the same, down to the jeans and flip-flops.
That’s such a coincidence Jon, in my ‘me time’ I often close my eyes and imagine Mario sliding down the end of level pole. Then back up again. Then down again.
thanks for the insight…Jon, remember this - you will always carry Japan with you no matter where you go. Chinese blood or not, you will always be a part of Japan for the rest of your life. Japanese attempt to perfect things and they do a damn good job of that but being gaijin will always result in analysing things from a non-Japanese perspective. You are spoiled. Think about it. The other day though, I had the BEST chinese food but the waitress was a B**tch. Alas, you can’t have it all at $20 USD. Cheers
you should write my anthropology papers for me. A for humour!!
I may be a total lame-o, but I still dig HK over Tokyo(although I have less a chance of getting my butt kicked in Tokyo). There’s just something about highly polished windows and crosswalks that look like they were licked clean that simply doesn’t inspire me. HK is down with the grunge and raw feeling that gets me in the mood. Walking around at night down by Temple street with all the looneys and outdoor eats, the colors of those busted lights and the smell of roasting pig just kicks ass. Maybe it was the consistent exposure to HK films through high school that really fired me up to spend more time there. There’s just so much diversity, and so many options for dining. I love Tokyo, but you’re on the mark with HK’s great variety of foreign foods which are well represented without going through the, “Japan-filter”(or HK filter, if there was any).
Oh, and Japan still doesn’t have an equivalent of Saint’s Alp Teahouse(if it’s still around). Those little spheres of flavor are smacktastic.
Not to compare with Hong Kong and Japan, as my times in Hong Kong have only ever entailed the airport where the people do smile and look pleasant, but after having to put up with crap from my friends after having arrived back in Australia after being in Japan for having “yellow fever”, I’m glad that someone else describes the same things I’ve been thinking.
It isn’t so much that one race of people is actually better looking than the other, it’s just that the Japanese actually take the time to dress up. All the people saying I’ve got “yellow fever” fail to hear me when I reply with “It’s because they bathe regularly, dress well, and know how to do their hair you goddamn elitist fuck!”
So it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one thinking it.
What about a comparison with Singapore? I think you’ve inspired me to do a Singapore-Taipei post, but all I really know to write about is the women.
The furthest I’ve been into Hong Kong were two in-flight movies, Drink, Drank, Drunk and I Want to Marry a Rich Man, and the Hong Kong airport in a stop-over while flying to Thailand. Although SARS masks were a hot item, the haircuts seemed to be pretty cool and the women mostly mimicked Japanese street style to an effect that isn’t so bad. In Thailand, the fashion is definitely cheaper and poorer made, so it seems from my observations in the customs line. And the technology, definitely less intricate, though that’s unrelated. I did meet a girl today in college who said she is from Hong Kong (and therefore fucking rich to be going to my college in America) who had no trendy haircut or anything-above-mediocre clothes.
Ohhh, that is SUCH a provoking blog! Sorry, you’ve definitely turned into a Japanophile. Where is your chineseness to give that balancing view ?!?!?! Of course, it’s lil bro who rules the debate. Typical. Tsk.
Btw, HK photos looks good.
Anyway, HK has a culture of its own, and she is not like Japan at all. It has humbleness, and honesty. I mean, that is the difference. One is raised from Confucianism, and the other Shintoism. How can they be compared like for like ? :P
I think Japanese girls dress more outrageously as form of escapism to be an individual, than for sole reason to attract the opposite sex.