Glorious Testes!
This is not a food review. In fact, many of you will have seen this brand of “sour balls” before - I believe it is a popular candy in the States.
However this is the first time I have seen this candy with the prefix “Wonderful” and there is something sinisterly camp about that which caused me to clap my hands with glee in the middle of the supermarket, as my eyes became aflame with sour ball lust. It’s Charlie Chaplin in a tutu. It’s David Copperfield sawing “The Golden Girls” in half. It’s Shirley Bassey nailing Elton John to a cross made of marshmallows whilst playing the theme to Xanadu on a harmonica in the shape of a 12″ black cock. Anyway, in the semi-drunken state I am right now, I’ve thrown together a YONGFOOK BALL CANDY name generator which you can find at:
http://www.yongfook.com/downloads/balls.html
Simply refresh the page to get different results. Enjoy!
is this just a plot to get us to download pictures of your balls again?
Particularly amusing is the order in which he came up with them:
third[0]=”Balls”; third[1]=”Nuts”; third[2]=”Family Jewels”; third[3]=”Testes”; third[4]=”Bollocks”; third[5]=”Chicken Nuggets”; third[6]=”Flesh Balloons”; third[7]=”Giggle Berries”; third[8]=”Hairy Danglers”; third[9]=”Nads”; third[10]=”Sweetmeats”; third[11]=”Sperm Sack”;
christ, don’t look at the code, it was written in like 5 minutes.
In fact I have tried Yongfook’s fabulous bitter flesh balloons and quite liked them, you pompous cock. Now fuck off.
Charms makes blow pops, sour balls were soft.
“something sinisterly camp” Just like yongfook!!!!!
“To see a man’s code is to see in his heart.” –Miyagi-sensei
You forgot one of my personal favourite synonyms: “rocks.” As in something like, “Jolly Sweet Rocks,” “Terrific Salt Rocks,” or “Sublimely Pungent Rocks.”
Added.
Aw, shucks. How Faintly Musky of you.
haha. balls.
I’ve got big balls I’ve got big balls They’re such big balls And they’re dirty big balls And he’s got big balls And she’s got big balls (All together now!) But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all!
Well the lyrics have nothing to do with Tastey Sweet Meats of Rapture, but I couldn’t resist. mmmmmmm balls, nuff said.
Also fun is to insert words into the name of the product: Oh, the Wonderful Charms of Yongfook’s Sour Balls!.
I’m going to go slam my head against the wall for a few hours now.
What kind of audience are you catering too anyways? I know, I know, I’d just like to hear him say it.
I think my favorite was “Rather good yucky nuts” chuckles
Leeps, you’re so cute!
Hey Yongfook, about your new site design: do the symbols on your very sexy WEB 2.0 styl-ee new logo read as “Yongfook” ? If so sir, which part is “FOOK” ? :D
The ‘Shirley Bassey nailing Elton John’ one is really, good.
stephan > the logo actually just says “fook” (or “fu” in Mandarin, “fuku” in Japanese) which basically means “Faintly Musky”.
I just can’t resist…..
Well this is new - I’m “cute” …I talk about another man’s wonderful sour balls and suddenly I’m “cute”… to an anonymous person.
Yeah, that’s right Leeps, keep saying sour balls…almost finished…almost finished…ahh
Anyway, I’ve always been impartial to “baubles.”
Leeps, I tend to leave random comments but I should’ve elaborated on that one… You’ve got a cute smile :)
About the talking about another man’s wonderful sour balls… err… no comment! :P
Anonymous > you have a hot name. Wanna cyber?
*unrolls penis*
*slowly*
hi, the sweet name generator is kind of fun. thanks for the info on hdr photography. makes more sense now. i thought it was done purely with a camera. more the cockbrain me. also i’d like to take the opportunity to pimp my site. PLEASE!!! CLICK MY NAME!!!! NO-ONE LIKES ME!!! LEAVE COMMENTS!!! ta jon.
p.s. trading hand jobs for comments.
pulls out a thermometer
Yongfook catches a glimpse of the thermometer and runs for dear life :P
Anonymous > Ahhhh… yeah, that’s much better sounding. Thanks though …just a shame it doesn’t seem to rope in the girls any more than my video iPod does… -sigh- :P
These were the parts that made me guffaw into my coffee this morning. I don’t know why. second[18]=”Putrid”; second[19]=”Yucky”; second[20]=”Icky”; second[21]=”Salty”; second[22]=”Meaty”; second[23]=”Succulent”; second[24]=”Moist”; second[25]=”Cheesy”; second[26]=”Dried”; second[27]=”BBQ”;
I prefer “hairy brains”.
You obviously haven’t tried the Danish Bonbon sweets: choose between dog farts, big boobs, bird droppings, junk yard, sewer “slam” (http://slik.toms.dk/361?PHPSESSID=2b70bed24d572ec322a46173a999be37). Seems the Danes don’t dabble in euphemisms…