The Prodigal Bum
It gives me great pleasure to welcome you BACK to the ongoing kafka-esque mind-frick theatre of women who can’t make their minds up as to whether I am the funniest thing since Arnie stabbing a guy with a DRILL in Total Recall and saying “Screw You”, or just an arrogant, insecure arsehole who compensates for his tiny penis by talking about it all the time, the oasis of unabashed disregard for the things I see fit to put in my mouth and the home of the longest run-on sentences EVER, THAT IS yongfook.com. I’ve had a little sabbatical due to work commitments, but I’ve discovered that if I dilute my sleeping down to just a few hours each night I MIGHT be able to update this website more than the pathetic, once-a-month entries that have characterised most of this year.
You might have noticed something about this entry - that being, it isn’t accompanied by an audio file of my nasal, balls-retracted voice. It is purely a written entry. See folks, I miss writing. I’m going to carry on podcasting (I’ll probably take a stab at video podcasting too) but on a loosely once-a-month basis.
Also, the direction of the site is going to change slightly. Whilst I don’t really have to worry about alienating readers since most of the peak-period-2005 people - except for a hardcore team of net stalkers who keep sending me emails that begin “Sometimes when I masturbate, I also cut myself whilst thinking about how beautiful our children would be” - have long since defected, I still feel some responsibility to tell the 4 of you reading this that no, this site isn’t going to be entirely about milky carrot drinks or making food analogies out of women who see sense and stop calling me or me talking about how I sent a photoshopped picture of my penis to guiggster and he totally believed it and spent the next month and a half crying in the corner and clawing at his face. Some of you may know that I work in the Web Industryâ„¢, but probably only a tiny minority of you know how much I live and breathe that industry. The new technologies, the business deals, the thousands of start-ups all with just an idea and a computer between them and success - the whole online business and online technology world absolutely fascinates me and I need a place where I can talk about it.
For example, that “Current Projects” thing in the top right - that is something I hacked together using the existing Wordpress framework (it’s just cycling through a category called “Projects”) with a little AJAX and scriptaculous magic. I don’t expect the majority of you to feel how I feel, but that kind of thing gets me HARD and I want my website to be, at least in part, a place where I can jizz liberally upon the world with geek technobabble in that vein.
I won’t, however, be devoting my entire site to web industry-related discourse. My blog will always be a place where you can come and laugh at the unceasing misfortune of another living thing, like visiting a run-down third-world zoo for retarded animals with no legs. It will be the same chaotic mish-mash of self-worship / self-loathing that has made some of the words written within entertain a select few of you for the last few years or so. In short, I will attempt to resume food reviews. I say attempt though, because it’s got to the point where Japan doesn’t surprise me anymore. Crazy, fricked-up things are now just “things”. An odd, seasonal flavour of potato chip has become something to look forward to and purchase, not something to cynically scoff at and pull off the shelf, pounding on it with my fists until security politely asks me to leave, before any more of the “wa” is broken by my presence. All I can say is, I’ll do my best to seek out foods that I find strange.
In other news:
1) About a month ago I had something of a mini epiphany. Many of you (bastards) made health-related fatty-fatty-fat-fat comments in the last couple of entries and during the last 5 weeks I have been eating more sensibly, exercising more, and I have completely stopped smoking. My body feels harder, I’m getting up and going to bed much easier and I’m posing in front of the mirror WAY more - in short, I feel pretty fricking good. Semi-nude pics to follow.
2) I’ve stopped drinking beer and have become a pretentious wine drinker. I’ve actually done things like go to a restaurant, order a bottle of wine and swirl it in the glass before committing to drinking it. Yes, I am now that guy. To facilitate this, I bought a magnificent, 6ft-tall fridge in which I have already amassed a mini-collection of delicious, grape-based booze.
3) I am currently trying to decide what is the best way to spend my summer savings - go on holiday (which admittedly, I do need, having not been out of Tokyo for a whole YEAR now) or get a macbook. The macbook is a much better use of my money, since my old laptop died last year and I’ve been without a portable since and I have a couple of personal projects on the horizon where I can see a portable being useful. Then again if I don’t take a holiday soon, I’m liable to snap and lay a fresh turd on my office floor before cart-wheeling out of the window to my death, all the time singing “Merry-go-round Broke Down” in falsetto. It’s a difficult decision - any ideas?
4) The redesign that you are looking at happened in less than 2 days, from design to implementation. I know it’s not perfect and I haven’t even checked it in Windows Internet Explorer yet. There will be bugs to iron-out and tweaks to be made. As it is, people using Firefox and Safari should be seeing the site as it is meant to look - I know it’s unprofessional to release a site that isn’t ready for all browsers, but I just want it to be out there since I’ve been working on this straight for pretty much the last 30 hours or so.
Well that’s all for now. With this newer, more mature format and design I hope to be updating this site more frequently, with a variety of different content. Thanks for sticking around these last couple of months when things have been slow.
YF
A note to those who are interested - if you want an avatar that works with this site head to gravatar to set a globally-recognised avatar that will work for countless numbers of blogs across the whole internet.
As one of the silent fanboys you refer to everynow and then, it was a hard month without you, I hope I was right to stuck with you through the food reviewless months.
Nice redesign. I like it.
But is it Web 2.0?!
I would also like you to know I read the source code of the temporary page. I love you that much.
Don’t forget the baby seals…… the hammers are hovering. We want food reviews not web crap (of which there is way too much already)
Hmm…new direction? If it is funny i don’t think people will mind. People like funny, if u can make technology funny we will read. Simple as that.
finally!
Wow. Nice redesign. You make me hard YF.
The new redesign looks good. I look forward to your jizz-laden industry technobabble. Welcome back.
cheers pnts > and I see you too are one of the new breed of Big Black Footer aficionados. I’m a bit late to the party, but I’m liking the big and blackness of it so far. Must…resist…penis..joke…
Your new site looks great - but does this mean I have to leave “mature comments only” moan Welcome back
Welcome back mate. Do whatever floats your boat or makes your willy tingle!
Long time reader but never a huge fan of the food renaissance period. I blame she who shall not be named =P
– Brian (Parkmaidong)
Actually, I just had a look at your Tokyo Gotham shots and they’re awesome.
I know sweet F.A. about photography but I I’ve got a burning question regarding moving objects. For example, in the shot that inspired “Tokyo” Gotham there are some birds in the top right. If you have to take several photos at different exposures don’t you encounter the problem of objects moving?
Cheers
Brian
huzzah im liking this.
Brian > yes, moving objects are a problem with this kind of photographic technique. That’s why most HDR photos are of inanimate objects or still landscapes. However, for small fixes like those birds, I could perform a bit of photoshop surgery - I left them in because I kind of like them there. It’s something for people to look at and understand the technique behind the photos.
Glad you will be writing more than podcasting. Your writing style is awesome, I missed it.
Nice redesign too, AJAX is sexy. One day I’ll get off my ass and prove that I’m a web designer too.
Welcome back, Yongfook! Once I saw the word AJAX, that sufficiently deterred me from looking at your source code or attempting to mimic anything on this site.
I knew if I wore my lucky underwear long enough you’d come back…
now also with sexy AJAX comments! mmm…superfluous effects…
ajax what now?
oh fuck that is pretty cool.
hey nice! text! lots of it too. excellent. thanks jon, missed that a lot. i like the new design too. looks all very polished and i like the fact you have a shaded comments box for your own bits of speaky.
also, the shibuya shot is quite amazing. i saw some of your previous hdr photography and find it really interesting. not sure how it works… so, how does it work?
Lloyd > thanks. To find out a little more about what the process involves, you can take a look at this article I wrote for PingMag: http://www.pingmag.jp/2006/04/13/10-pictures-of-tokyo-gotham/
It’s actually very simple and anyone can do it - the only difficult thing is choosing the right kind of scene / subject, but the same could be said for all photography.
Sweet vile narcissism and phallus talk. How I have missed it.
O unblemished joy! Lots of writing and videocasts-my fav from you!
Love the new look. Glad to hear (read????) that you’ll be writing more and various things. Any suggestions for JavaScript/Ajax readin material for us n00bs climbing the mountain?
Leo > if you are already familiar with some kind of server-side scripting with which to produce dynamic content, then a simple AJAX call is only seconds away. Read this tutorial which shows AJAX at its most basic - once you make something functional with that, it should all fall into place.
Thanks for the link. Just refreshing mah Javascripting ‘n’ XML knowledge. Ok, more like powerhosing the grime off.
hi i think i saw you on the streets at ikebukuro on my first night in tokyo and that totally made my day/night. would’ve been great if you flashed your dashing smile in my direction but you probably wouldnt have seen me anyways im up to your waist.
was this recently?
Nice to see you get back to writing, I’m looking forward to the good ol’ amusing banter from an englishman in Japan. I like the redesign, it’s made me want to pick up that CSS book again.
Sue> So Yongfook is a tall hot geek, is he? Interesting.
Stay in Tokyo! I’ll be there 7/4-8/17! MUST meet you! MUST!
yf> nope twas about a month back
victoria> nah im just short :)
redesign looks great!
S’nice. Like it a whole lot better than the previous. Haven’t left TOKYO for a year, I feel so terrible for ya. :P
interesting blog. i don’t usually read these things - except that life as a tech support rep chained to the phones on a graveyard shift will see me scouring the net for something to entertain my brain while my mouth goes on automatic, explaining to idiots the difference between left-clicks and right-clicks on a mouse, or how to setup a dialup connection when they can barely spell their own names.
a mate of mine introduced this site to me a couple years back, and i haven’t been back since, and probably wouldn’t have been back if not for the discovery of your tokyo gotham pics.
good stuff, mate. you’re good with a camera - and you have an unbelievably foul mouth. ;p lol.
nice.
Evelyn means:
“Stay in Tokyo! I’ll be there 7/4-8/17! MUST axe you in the face! MUST!”
I like the changes. I think I’m inspired to take some classes at my local community college so I can understand the jizzy technobabble….I’m so not a geek, but I want to be one when I grow up. Definatley go for the vacation, or find a way to do both! You deserve it. The fact that you quit smoking and beer is such a turn on, you have no idea. Won some serious points in my book. Keep writing!
Oh, a warm welcome back my darling YF, he of chiselled devilish beauty and multi-faceted talents (web design! music composition! stylish photography! wordsmith extraordinaire! mindfucker! humorist!).
So great is my adulation, you can jizz liberally all over me. I don’t care.
oh you’ll care. you’ll care.
Your blog is amazing. I like this.
Interesting… I’m going to have to come back for more reading later. Off to work!
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