HAPPY FRICKING BIRTHDAY TO ME
I’ve come out of hiding temporarily to gloat about how:
a) It was my birthday yesterday. I am now 26.
b) I managed to get my hands on a Nintendo DS Lite. This will totally help me to get LAID.
Gratuitous DS Lite pics:
More DS pics here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yongfook/sets/72057594101663630/
Also this week I experimented a little with HDR imaging to create these surreal composites:
More here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yongfook/sets/72057594105831847/
Now begone, I have a bottle of wine to finish.
oh and p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
I think the DS Lite shortages are nearly over. I got one last Saturday by showing up at Toys R Us two hours before opening time, but as it turned out, I could have just waltzed up at 10 and still gotten one. The week before, my friend also got one by using the same technique. Pretty much all it takes to get one now is a bit of stamina for waking up with a blistering hang over.
Carl > are you in Tokyo? In densely populated areas the DS Lite is still a pretty rare item. Further outside major cities, it’s fairly easy to pick one up, I hear.
Sounds like the ground is sweet for a black market.
happy birthday.
Happy birthday, oh often-acerbic and narcissistic one!
I’ve had my DS Lite for an entire day now and haven’t gotten laid yet. I’m thinking of sending it back for a refund.
Congrats on the birthday, Yongfook. I’d never peg you for 26. I’m also surprised the first game you fired up on your new DS Lite wasn’t Super Princess Peach!
How come you couldn’t get someone else to buy you the Lite for your birthday?
Fucking amazing pictures(the surreal composites).
Oh, and happy birthday! Although I don’t know you and don’t give a flying dildo, its often good to be nice.
Good god, I’m older than you by half a year. That is just too weird. -_-;;;
otanjoubi omedetou.
P.S. Those strawberries are eerily similar to how I envision Kragon’s claw.
What’s HDR?
Oh, btw.. happy birthday old man
happy birthday
nice mouth
Hello Yongfook. I’ve been well… I supose you could say secretly admiring your podcasts, and classy food reviews for about 6 months now. Happy birthday, and damn you for being a year and 3 months younger than me! Recent podcast was great, nearly fell out of my chair laughing! Good luck on getting laid with the help or your new DS Lite. Let me know how that works for you I might try it myself. Oh, and you if you, or anyone, is intrested in melodramatic poetry I wrote when I was a pethetic teenage goth wanabe, feel free to look at my website. Of course now I’m a pathetic middle-age…no that’ll suffice. At any rate. Tanjoubi omedetou gozaimasu!
Happy birthday to you sir.
Furthermore, I am delighted to see that getting LAID will forever be spelt with capitals, thanks to one old Indian dude with a mustache. Indian dude, we salute you.
yitweng: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highdynamicrange_imaging
wtf. link’s borked.
Happy birthday! I’d fuck you to get get your DS Lite. ^_~
happy bday!
paul tan> yeah, some blog software has issues with underscores in links. they have similar problems at kotaku.
yongfook> happy birthday! now that you have two nintendo DSes, does thatmean you have twice the chance of getting laid? Or will the older DS get you older, fatter women while the DS will get you younger, slimmer women with screen bright enough to melt your eyeballs?
oh and p.s. i still think your photos are awesome, no matter what the HDR says.
I saw a cow tongue in the supermarket and thought of you. Turns out in its traditional setting (cold in sandwiches), tongue tastes AMAZING, even though you need to boil it for a hell of a long time, and it’s a bitch to get off the skin and gristle. It’s not really like regular meat — it’s dense and rich, like liverwurst but much less mushy.
This isn’t an assault on your opinion — it probably wouldn’t work in onigiri anyway — just thought I’d let you know you’ve given someone a new favorite food.
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday you old geezer! Welcome to the nearly dead club!
Happy Birthday
Zedstar: Sex for a Nintendo DS Lite? Eeeeh. I wouldn’t give for less than a mac. Plus a cake.
Happy 26th again, Princess Yongfook. Love the tiara. ;)
Awesome pictures. I second the guy who said you should take promo shots or do something in the advertising business. “Coding” HTML and PHP rots your brain.
I think I should be the one to move the topic swiftly from Yongfooks birthday to animal shaped balloons. Is it true Yongfook, that you have elaborately made your penis to look like a minotaur, using balloon sculpting techniques? Whats your secret?
I heard his penis reacts in much the same way as silly putty does.
It’s true. Sometimes I press it on a newspaper, stretch it out a bit, and laugh and laugh.
Sometimes the comic is funny, too.
happy fucking birthday to you! nice cake. ;)
I shall write you a deaththreat poem for your birthday. I encourage all other YF readers to do the same! What? Ofcourse this is legal.
Happy Birthday
you look so happy - glad you had a good birthday!
a- Yeah- but it’s been a while since I had sex too. Notably I’m not so easily bought off by just ANYONE.
Happy Birthday! Now share that wine!
Happy birthday Jon, now tell us your real age!
(I want to see that badge and tiara…)
Happy Birthday, YF… You know, 26 is when it starts going downhill fast. Before you know it, you’ll be 30… =)
Zedstar, I’ll have sex with you….plus I’ll respect you in the morning.
Ah- but would I respect you?
Hahaha! Hahahahaha!
Zedstar, what a sharp tongue you have my dear? I wonder what other mysteries await?
Are you sure you want that tongue directed at you?
Er, that came out all wrong.
Hey tiny chin-chin. Decided to pay your site a visit. It’s been awhile. Podcast now. Cool. Gimmie ichigo cakuuuuuu! Tanjobi Omedetou!!
Happy birthday Mr Toh! hehe Btw your podcast link doesn’t work! (or is it just me??)
Happy birthday! (ok… belated Happy bithday)
yongfook and guig should re-enact this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-1PG1nYRRg
i got the navy blue DS Lite at Yodobashi Osaka bundled with Mario Kart and Mario & Luigi RPG 2 with no queues at all during a chance trip to look at games… maybe u should have visited Osaka.. :p
anyway.. enjoy ur DS games!!!
hi jon. this one was quite funny. i said before i think it’s good you’re trying new stuff and moving forward, changing your site design etc. - (bigger than) Totoro - and i still think that really. just that i’m starting to miss your written articles more nowadays. that’s the best stuff. i realise you don’t have so much time to be doing that kind of thing nowadays, but maybe on odd occasions you could take the time to write about something? it’s just so much better. i don’t visit your site half as much as i used to. anyway, just a thought.
I think there’s a chance that the DS Lite acts as more of a contraceptive than a get-laid-quick device… y’know… like B.C.G.’s from the military. shrug Just a thought.
am with Lloyd on this one - missin ye olde sarcastic undertones and exclamation marks featured in the first written articles admittedly haven’t visited site in a while (complete lie) but still remember you (so tempted to leave it here, but would sound like complete stalker) as the guy in front of me at Heathrow with mandolin.
Mr Paul Tan, you are such a sick f..k for posting that link! I need a brain transplant to wipe those images from my mind. Zedstar, I truly need some sex from you….a charitable act.
Happy birthday! I hope you got laid. =]
I think you mean LAID.
No no, he said “got laid”. saying what you mean != meaning what you say.
I don’t know if I made myself clear enough- but I’m not really a charity. So trying to get on my good side isn’t going to work.
Look ‘a’, ya noob it’s a capital letter thing - you’re clearly way out of your depth here. Why don’t you sit the next couple of plays out? Good lad.
hey! yongfook, i think you should review different kinds of takoyaki aka ocotopus balls
Or maybe baby seal balls because Yongfook pretty much wiped out the entire baby seal population by delaying a food review.
one of d best sites iv seen, did u take all those pics? and how did a nintendo help u get laid? ^^
Your ds pictures is somewhat of a catalyst towards my desire to purchase the ds. Thanks alot Yongfook for changing my life. Ladies, here I come.
I like pies. Your cake is not a pie. Curse you YongFook.
dodgemail.net let’s you dodge spam or unwanted mails with a free on-the-fly mail account. I hope this brand new service will be of use to some of you.
cheers!
ok
If I send you my penis, will you review it?
Hey Zedstar, what lovely eyes you have! Nice rack, too. How about……?
Oddly enough- two of my best features!
… maybe.
I liked it better when YF was on JET and had all the time of the world to entertain us.
yongfook.
i need to know how you do your hair.
it’s phenomenal.
no seriously, i’ve tried to get it similar a couple times. all ended in disaster.
as if appealing to your warm and understanding heart isn’t enough, i’m a fellow hybrid and so you need to tell me. right.
Wax. Special secret wax from the UK. I tried to get this secret once. It cost me my left testicle. He still needs a right one. Are you willing to pay that price? ARE YOU?!
I agree with ffkaf- How am I supposed to distract myself from studying when there’s no update?
I must warn you - this c ould be very dangerous. There’s a person hiding in your apartment taking pictures of you just relaxing - really, I mean it, just, relaxing. They must be stalking you - why else would anyone take pictures of you just - relaxing - i’m afraid you are in grave danger.
btw - you look so relaxed when you’re not posing
Dear Yongfook,
Using Firefox I usually just type “yo” into the address bar and click on your website which is the first to pop up. However, every once in a while something goes wrong and I end up at yo-yoma.com.
This upsets me. Please make a podcast soon.
-Guig
I love you Guig. You just made me chortle as the same thing sometimes happens to me.
I was actually planning to do a podcast and do a bit of spring-cleaning with my site design during my week off last week.
But I found that keeping the curtains closed, ordering pizza and masturbating furiously for 12 hours a day was way, waaaay more fun.
Unlucky for you guys, I guess.
I was going to ask Yongfook personally, but then I came to the realisation that I have no life.
Let Yongfook live his life, and you live yours.
My friends just went to India and brought me back a Kamasutra book.
…All of the women’s vagina’s start at the base of their navels. Having not seen a woman’s vagina for ohhhhhhh almost a year now, can you please tell me if this is how they really are?
Also, let’s say I go to Tokyo around the 26th or 27th…will you be overwhelmingly busy…too busy to, say, introduce me to hot girls with stomach vaginas?
Don’t believe everything you read in the Kamasutra; if bitter experience has taught me anything it’s that you can have hot girls OR you can have girls with stomach vaginas.
Who else is masturbating furiously over wii trailers from e3?
Yongfook, Your laziness in updating what once was a glorious site, and general inability to provide us with the food reviews we used to know and love–has eradicated your Canadian contingent. Congrats yongfook, Canada hates you. You’re fat.
Its true Yongfook. You are so fat, I need to take an aeroplane to get to around you. and its a 20 hour flight. also the aeroplane is a concorde. Thats one of the really fast planes that none of us can afford to fly. But they have discontinued, so I guess I have to take a normal jumbo jet, in that case would take about a couple of days to fly around you. Fat arse.
Chris > you think it’s laziness that prevents me from updating? Hi my name is Jon. I work 14 hours a day (and often weekends) in a job that I like. I used to work about 6 hours a day in a job that a monkey could do with their hands glued to their balls. During that period of my life, I had plenty of free time to write and update.
The same cannot be said of this phase of my life, and it hurts me as much as it does you.
So in summary: balls.
Yongfook, I don’t think you understand the severity of the situation. I too, work long hard hours. I come home, strap on a condom and prepare to wang myself until it hurts alot while reading your delightful food reviews. Well, for the past two months there have been many nights where I have been alone with none of your material and have been forced to resort to broken bottles of blue (that’s our canadian beer). My doctor is sick and tired of having to remove pieces of brown glass from my scrotum and urethra, and I guess we just want you back–we being myself, my penis, and a couple of other Canadians. So make some time, and please, do some cardio.
Keep up the once a month or so entries. The blog takes on a life of its own that is more hilarious than anything anyone could write.
I hope that your birthday candle wish comes true.Oh Multi-talented YongFook I never realized that you so envied the ‘Castrati’ so much!!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castrati
Good Luck! And Happy Penis cake to you!!! you sick man…. you’d lick’em
Kj: Wii looks great!!! Not so good that i’d wank over it, but good nonetheless. SSBB looks great.
He MUST be getting laid to not have posted in so long.
And by laid i mean hit over the head with a heavy textbook by his supervisor while he slaves away at the keyboard.
expect something this weekend. that’s all I’m saying.
tissues at the ready.
Tissues at the ready? Is that a hint that we wud need tissues coz u will cease posting? Or is that just for masturbation that is so popular among ur readers?
As much as I love checking in and reading both your posts and your somewhat strange groupies’ comments, I think your going to wind it up and build on your real life–good timing. Become a legend and Leave them wanting more.
nah, that won’t happen. I pretty much eke out my existence on the internet despite my real-life commitments. I’ll always have a blog in one form or another. I was thinking of making it more XTREME though. Like, instead of using a computer and the internets I could tattoo my blog on my arm and show people on the train and shit. I’d be all like “neat, huh?” and they would be like “woah!”. Commenting would be a bitch though, people would have to follow me around all the time.
So perhaps I’ll just stick with the computer.
I’ve just had a dry patch. But as my sex motto goes, “when you hit a dry patch, just keep pushing and pushing until things get wet again”. Usually that’s because she starts to hemorrhage. Anyway I’ll be along with my new blog soon, with awesome new 4D video podcasts! In 4D!
Well, ultimately, you’re really the judge. Good luck!
LOL. Oh, please do the blog tattoo? you could put it on….. your buttcheeks. and then when you get idiots leaving nasty comments you can fart in their face.
Would the comments be tattoos as well, or would we just have to stalk you around town with Sharpies?
Then I can physically link from your blog/tattoo to mine with a real chain and body hook. Soon we can have a “web” of self mutilating bloggers. Naked.
Guig > I’d like to take pictures.
And I’d like to masturbate to About photos but don’t you think the hooks are gonna hurt?
Guig > I’d like to take pictures of THAT too.
Yongfook…I’ll be going to tokyo! What’s that place u went where a pic of you looking at the menu with a pack of cigs by your side, looks like a cool place to dine.
Dear YF readers,
It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you of the passing away of Yongfook. He was found dead in his bathroom, surrounded by cheap porno manga’s and crusty tissues. He will be missed. Truly an American icon.
Since anything goes w/ your comments, do you come w/ a tip or without?I’ve imagined w/o–but, ya never know.
Actually, what I’d really appreciate to help me w/ my year-end paper is to take advantage of your readership and tell me who is and who is not circumcised, and if you’re happy w/ the state of your penis. For the women out there, do you have a preference, and what would it be and why. Since YF’s not doing anything until this weekend (we hope), why not rack up some more comments - maybe you’ll get your highest numbers yet. Thanks. Feel free to leave detailed info.
fyi-i am female w/ no experience re noncircumcised dicks save once babysitting for a 3 yr old who needed his pants pulled up after peeing. So all information w/b pertinent :-)
Judge: really? no experience with natural dicks….they’re the best in giving women pleasure…call me, I’ll setup a ‘test drive’, ok?
Ladies, my question is, do you Eurasian guys fuck better?
chris: do you mean in reference to caucasians, blacks or asians?
asians: not necessarily but generally yes. but they are better endowed though. caucasians: not necessarily. blacks: no idea.
*they are more better endowed
they = eurasians.
I’m fortunate that my parents decided NOT to cut off a piece of my penis. The foreskin is full with nerve endings and provides more pleasure. If a woman enjoys it more or less, who cares?
112> Yes. Other question, Ladies, is there really a difference fucking a guy who is circumcised and one who is not? Fanformerlyknownasfan certainly brings up this interesting point. I think there is. I think natural guys tend to be a bit more sensitive. Is this a true assumption? Don’t know the answer.
I think dating Eurasians is kinda awesome for a guy, since it is like dating two people in one; especially Eurasian chicks. Like one night they can dress and emphasize their Asian features, the next night out they can dress and emphasize their European features….cool, eh? If you are married to one, it’s like having a wife and a mistress in one!
I also find that Eurasians chicks tend to age more gracefully than white chicks since they have the Asian genetic traits. White girls tend to loose their skin tone faster. They dont age as gracefully as Asian or Black women do. Really, kinda best of both worlds. Natural Blonde girls do not age well, especially after 30. Look at all those Slavic women from Russia. Nice when young, but stout like Tractors when older!
I agree Chris. About Eurasians girls that is! More interracial fucking guys!
Sorry, but Asian women do not age well AT ALL. They get reeeeal ugly after around 55-60.
Guig, all women are ugly after 55-60 regardless of race, unless, you have wads of cash…a little plastic surgery….hehehe
HELLO? GUYS - ARE YOU/AREN’T YOUAND WISH YOU WERE???? SMEGMA COMMENTS??GIRLS - SMEGMA SMELLS? COME ON - LET’S STICK TO TOPIC!
Judge> pussy smells, too!
pussy smells clean and beautiful if you care for yourself properly. wash w/ scented soaps, rub sensuous oil always before love making- pussy should draw you in to get lost in its declicious scent-always take special care of your pussy.
So, Judge, what is your preference where it comes to dicks? Shaved? Cut? Plain wrapper hoodie?…when it comes to a little tongue and throat action? what’s the preference when it comes to a little pounding action?
whatever the action, i like mine plain, no wrappers and shaven somewhat so it’s not bushy-at least well kempt-you do that for your other head, right?
@MarkNewly-I also like my Rolex Oyster Perpetual.
there should be categorized rooms for the comments. Like, the HornDog Parlour and the Food Review Anarchists Diner.. or.. the Penis Mutilation Basement, and for safety, an under 13s playroom, in case Yongfook’s previously innocent little students read upon these horrors.
disturbed reader, thank you
Here’s a great idea for Yongfook and his penis obsession and his readers and their penis obsession….a Yongfook Penis Receipe Corner. Here is a receipe for Penis Peppermint Pops:
1 well washed penis sprinkle lightly with edible mint flavour oil 1 dash of icing sugar on the top a dollop of fresh whipped cream on the top
Place in mouth Suck slowly
Results: mmmmm….minty fresh breath….some sweet calories….with a slight creamy aftertaste.
mint and cream… a rather strange combination?
112>you can always add a little Baileys Irish Cream to the Whipped Cream…talked about getting liquored up in an unique way!!!
YF-your readers are easy to read-told you i’d boost your numbers. ba-bye
I think mint & cream sounds rather nice. actually.
-first of all dont put sugar or whipped cream on the penis if youre going to have sex after, sugar that gets in the vagina can cause overgrowth of yeast. clean well! -also i prefer a large uncircumcised cock, and I’ve tried both types. -also I dont care if my bf hangs out with girls, as long as he doesnt cancel our plans and comes home at night, isnt secretive. I hang out with my guy friends, and bottom line is I love and come home to my bf. My bf however, doesnt usually hang out with other girls. I have watched him fuck another girl, and I think its a turn on, but we have been together 7 years now and have the wierdest really honest and amazing relationship. -mmm baileys….baileys mint is good. i drank bottles over the holidays.