Yeah. So. Like.
Way too busy at work. No seriously, it’s ridiculous. You know that scene in Santa Claus The Movie where Dudley Moore’s awesomely fast toy-making machine goes all spastic and starts making like rocking horses with knives for heads and candy canes in the shape of black, Haitian cocks? That’s me at work right now. No, I’m not a gigantic, dismembered black penis sitting here typing by blatting my glans on the keyboard at just the right angle, I’m referring to the fact that I am the soon-to-be-broken machine, sprockets flying everywhere and smoke pouring from my brain. And poor old Dudley Moore will be exiled from Lapland.
But it’s ok, he ends up saving Christmas.
WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT.
Oh yeah, in preparation for the next podcast but more-so to give me something to laugh at whilst I beaver away like some kind of black toy cock-making contraption, why not record me a message? Click the button below.
To those of you listening to the podcast, you’ll notice that it’s just a song I recorded a while back. Sorry for the disappointment, I’ve just been so busy lately. You know that scene in Santa Claus The Movie where oh wait.
Dude, you’re getting fat.
my mother says I’m healthfully large.
Right before you ate her…fatty.
You should have seen him at uni, all he’d eat was “Chicken O’s”
Makes a nice change not to be able to see the exact shape of jon’s skull
UNTRUE! Chicken Os and All Day Breakfast.
Preferably combined, in some sort of toasted sandwich.
Oh god I’m turning myself on.
Oh god how I miss the All Day Breakfasts. Its just not the same when you try to cook it. And its not easy to barely cook bacon thats about an inch thick.
mmmm… inch thick bacon. gurgle
hahaha! Chicken Os. That’s cute.
The All Day Breakfasts will be the one thing anyone talks about during university reunions in the years to come. Such happy memories…99p for all the listeria you could eat. The Union scrapped them in the end, sadly, as they decided that they would only serve food that had been freshly cooked, and the mighty All Day Breakfast could (apparently) only be made if they were allowed to sit and congeal under a hot plate for an hour or so.
Now I’m in the mood for one. Or perhaps a Feast Burger…
great site - funny w/ incredible music! Thanks
great music - thanks!
Ooh… More cushin’ for the pushin’.Looking good Jon. Good luck with shit at work. Ta.
Maybe you should quit and go back to teaching where you can sit at your desk and do fuck all all day!
Yeah, bad idea……
What kind of cigs to you smoke? I hear they have all kinds of flavors in japan.
Your podcasts are really funny…you’re so enthusistic!!! But then if you stopped smoking you’d be even cooler!
Still fit into the ‘lithe’ category. All good. ;P
Is the place you’re at in the photo of any particular interest?
All kinds of flavours? Mm, such as?
How did you lose all that fat from that time when you were suppossedly a melonhead?
Cock, Machine, Soon-to-be-broken…hhmm….. Mechanic(s), Need, Soon?
I would volunteer to fix you, I mean sandwiches.
nothing’s better than the flavor of cancer.
but really, i think those are marlboros [always wondered how much smokes were over there]. i have a pack of those surgically attatched to my body at all times.
FFXII = Lack of Updates… :(
YF, stop smoking or I will boycott your podcasts. Think I’m joking?!
not just marlboro, marlboro lights (@_@)/~
Smoking is soooooooooooo unhealthy - can’t you try substituting it w/ one of those fake plastic ciggies - your lungs will be cleaner, your breath will be sweeter and your clothes won’t stink! Besides, it’s a turn-off to so many “thinking” people.
Do they still sell those fruit flavoured smokes? I’ll never forget the signs advertising “Big Apple flavour”…
Hahaha, alright, ‘fess up. I’m sure a good half of you all here probably smoke too.
God bless the internet for allowing so many to make the ‘you’re fat and you stink’ comments they’ve been dying to make for centuries, but now wihout the need to show their own fat stinking heads in the process and thereby risk reprisal.
Sweet lady internet.
Oh, do our comments somehow reflect ourselves? I didn’t know!
You gorgeous, intelligent, charming thing, you.
It’s not so much that it’s harmful to yourself, but also to the people around you. I make a habit out of it to punch any smoker in my vicinity (who’s smaller than me, ofcourse).
One day YongFook, YOU will be the RECIPIENT of the PUNCHING. Are you SCARED yet? Or should I make more EXOTIC use of CAPITALS?!
Oh Lordy. They are chastising you for smoking? I don’t smoke but I think I should comment as well. “Marlboros?? What the hell are you thinking? Don’t they sell Nat Shermans in Japan?” Of course, they may mean it all n jest, in which case, hahahaha. …No, wait…just not funny. Fascists, unite.
Meanwhile, stay away from those giant fans in the background during your sleep-deprived, overworked, vulnerable state…hmm. Overworked, vulnerable - has anyone taken advantage of you yet?
Yongfook only smokes in bed.
Is this a joke? What’s with all the talk about smoking? YAWN Really!
So my mum knows I started smoking again. WHICH ONE OF YOU TOLD HER.
Dammit these comments just made me start smoking again. “I’d quit, but I’m to scared of ending up like these self-righteous bastards…” ( Bill Hicks, one of the greatest comedians who ever died of cancer).
Hor… Perhaps she’s psychic.
Dammit these comments just made me start smoking.
smoking again? There was supposed to be a question mark. >_
“So my mum knows I started smoking again. WHICH ONE OF YOU TOLD HER.”
Setting us all up to make a comment about how we told her when we raped/sexed/ravaged your mother?
Why, YF, why do you have these auto-destructive tendencies?
Is there a correlation between smoking and fellatio? I wonder….what’ya say “fanformerlyknownasfan”?
@Joe, I don’t think that word means what you think it means.
What does he think it means? and what does it mean?
fanformerlyknownasfan - I don’t like you. Bitch.
Me thinks that “fanformerlyknownasfan” is YF’s alter ego?
An alter ego is an entertaining theory. What if he’s schizophrenic and the site is written by his slightly cynical, occasionally self-hating side, and “fanformerlyknownasfan” is his glass-half-fullness trying to raise his own sinking spirits?
Interesting point “Ami”. Would you say there is a penile harmony between the two?
Hi “Joe”! I’m going to say “yes”, but may change it to a “no” later tonight when I suddenly realize what you were actually implying.
lookin’ good yongfook ;)
I started smoking again recently and thoroughly enjoyed it. I highly recommend it. PS: I’m not a doctor.
Interesting theory you got there. Since I have the goatee I must be the evil twin. The goatee is not on my face by the way.
yf, you know Singaporean moms have this psychic sixth sense, voodoo ability to tell when we are doing things we are not supposed to… If I had a dime for every 2 am phone call where I am woken up by a screeching woman with a Singapore accent…
“fanformerlyknownasfan”…TOO MUCH INFORMATION…..ARGGGGHHHH!
fanformerlyknownasfan … the question isn’t where the goatee is on you, but whose goatee it is. shudder
@CrazyC–and herein lies only part of the reason I’ll never date another Asian again. Crazy psycho Asian mothers. Once they’ve run a finger over your once-pure-and-clean soul with their gloves that suspiciously dispense soot from the fingertips, there’s no saving yourself.
That, and the small cocks. Of course.
Must have a big vagina? Damn…no wonder lots of white guys date Asian women for their small vaginas.
Some white guys date Asian women because they can’t date white girls. You know… not enough mojo.
“iS” That is so funny…..
I just sat through 22 minutes of screeching, mostly about why I cannot find a nice Chinese boy… Gwailos think I am too Asian, Asians think I am too American… Sigh… I am hoping the screeching Asian mom thing is not hereditary…
I laughed out loudly so hard, neighbors thought I’ve gone “nuts”. Thanks Yf and btw my Chinese name is Yang Fan (YF again).
I am glad to have found your site!
iS: I applaud your honest expression of racism and ethnic stereotyping. Well done.
Suit?
I applaud too, while nodding sagely. I’ve seen some Japanese girls so desperate to leave Japan they’ll bonk anything.
Someone applaud the fact that Japanese girls will bonk anything, but I haven’t been bonked in 8 months.
Applaud now!
Bonk for love, not plane tickets.
Im sure some idiot Gaijin will misinterpret some of these comments to thinking they can go to Japan and get a quick shag. Its not that quick.
Nah, it’s that quick. You just have to be an idiot gaijin.
What’s this thing with white guys and “Asian Fever”? Can someone explain this phenomena to me?
Define “Quick”
Hey, how do you cut and style your hair? What kind of hair product you use. Looks really good!
It’s really easy to get girls here if you’re me. I can’t speak for YF’s uggo fanbase though.
See ‘Charisma Man’ for more details: http://roryrunsamok.blogspot.com/2004/10/charisma-man.html
we’re all God’s children in the dark, uggo or fuggo.
If there is one thing I’ve learnt though, it’s that ugly chicks are willing to do far more in bed, because you know, they might not get sex again for months and months. Similar experiences can be had with semi-attractive girls with low self-esteem who think they are uggos.
I recommend both.
Oh and some of you fatists might be interested to know, I’m on a diet! It involves eating less and exercising more. If things go well, expect glamorous, self-loving half-nude pics on my blog SOON!!1
In other news: I’m really rather busy still.
Instead of glamorous, self-loving half-nude pics, could we have a food review?
Please.
Well, if he’s going on a diet that can only mean he needs to food review the foulest things imaginable so that he couldn’t stand to take a second bite even if someone with Parkinson’s disease had a ice pick half an inch away from his exposed eyeball.
I should patent that method. Fuck doing South Beach, try the Japan oh-my-god-this-is-FOOD?!?!?! diet.
Since I arrived in Japan I don’t eat a thing, I live off cartoned coffee and I’ve lost loads of weight and girls want to shag me. I can highly recommend it.
Again, I’m not a doctor.
Are u sure they’re girls?
Are you sure you’re not a doctor?
WOW! A single ticket to Japan = Oodles of orgies.
COMIN ATCHA, NIPPON ATCHA.
@AndyH-wake up and smell the cherry blossoms-you’re hot for YF
That was never in doubt. He will be mine… but meanwhile I’ll busy myself with all the gaijinaholic ladies in Japan. And all you ball lickers can stay off my land, these are my exotic wenches. Mine.
Not your bloody land Andy! You Gaijinosaurus. You have to share whats on offer, or Earth will forever be susceptible to wars and such. Make love not war.
@AndyH-so your real aim is to butt f*** YF, whiling away your time trying to make the gaijinaholic ladies think you’re hot for them?Aren’t you afraid they’ll see through your waif-like blonde tresses, girly sweater and overgrown belt that’s trying desperately to hold up your unfashionably hanging jeans? I somehow can’t picture YF with someone like that. Were YF ever to be w/ a man, which I doubt, he would def. go w/ a classy, uptown guy, well dressed, well schooled and not a brown bagger.sophisticated not just in words, but in breeding as well. you know,,,you can take the eastside of London out of the boy…but you can never…
Somebody is jealous…
Ooh, yes, wonderfully jealous (such a fetching shade of green, judge is). I can’t wait to see how this plays out.
If that’s Charisma Man himself in the picture on his blog, I don’t see the “waif-like blonde tresses”. What are waif-like blonde tresses anyway?
Oh dear, so no one has noticed yet.
The Yongfook fanbase is being divided into two opposing groups that seem to be in bitter struggle with one another. One group would include the metrosexual elite, along with Yongfook and the other group would be the envious homosexuals who normally sit down surfing Yongfook with their willies in their hands, discounting anything that the metros claim.
“One group would include the metrosexual elite, along with Yongfook and the other group would be the envious homosexuals who normally sit down surfing Yongfook with their willies in their hands, discounting anything that the metros claim.”
And then there is the third faction that actually gets laid.
*correction to above post: You can take the boy out of the Eastend of London…but you can’t take Eastend of London out of the boy.
These comments have an element of “Brokeback” hint to them…..
Hint? You call those hints?
There’s a very serious lack of subtlety here. Hey Joe, wanna have sex?
Fan> not after you bt fk YF & Guig….too much shit on a stick….
Fan> wrong equipment. I need floppers to play with.
…….lost you guys already
kthxbi
Adding to the group theory is those who stand back and watch the battles cheering gleefully, yet not having sex while doing so.
I don’t comment here in weeks and suddenly I’m getting bt fkd?
Guig> Are you complaining?
Not really. It’s the most action I’ve gotten in months.
Fan> Are you into little boys?
“Into”… could you clarify that please, sir? I just bought a blender and made some eadible stuff. I feel godlike now.
Can you like, BE online so I can personally wish your punkass a happy birthday you bitch?
Oh well, Happy Birthday, bitch. Get drunk get laid and all that jazz. Then send me naked pictures.
kthxbai.
uh. happy birthday.
http://www.escape-key.com/2006/04/07/the-gay-ipod/
Happy bornday! Cheer cheer, now get back to work (joy!). :D
Happy demonspawn day!1! If anybody wanted to give yongfook the b-day bash, nows the time. Rough and rugged is how he likes it.
Happy girthday, you big-fat-cock-equipped sex machine.
Hahaha! I’ve just come across the perfect card for yongfook. http://www.flickr.com/photos/kk/124877063/
episode 2, yongfook?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-1PG1nYRRg
I hope your birthday was everything you wanted it to be and that your year is filled w/ happiness, good health and good friends.
Jon, you belong on TV–you’ve got the looks, talent, and voice :P
Whoa whoa whoahhhh, I’m not from the Eastend. And they weren’t my clothes. That top belonged to a girl whom I banged. Hard. Grrr.
testing
Hey yongfook, That css article on pingmag was awesome. Is there more tutorial articles to come?