Podcast No.3
If you subscribe to the podcast feed, you’ll get the enhanced audio version. This has chapters, images, links etc and all that good stuff. Those who just listen to the direct .mp3 audio-only file - you’re listening to the crap version. So for the love of baby Jesus subscribe.
Ever wanted to listen to 3 people talk about penises and male rape for 20 minutes? This is your lucky day.
I’ll write more in this entry when I can be arsed, but for now it’s 1:30am and I just want to get the podcast up.
Happy listening.
The topic is cockcast, but all you ever talk about is cock anyway. I liked this podcast anyways and I think its the best one so far. No music this time, but thats ok.
Fuckstress wasn’t as horny as I thought though, I expected her to at least attempt you to arouse you and talk in a very dirty manner.
The thermometer bit had me cringing. So did Fuckstress’ voice. But then again, it’s good to have the funny with the massively annoying. Good stuff.
Just listened to your podcast and was rather disappointed. First of all, I’m the first to admit I love cocks - but enough is enough-you need some interesting dialogue included. Secondly, how can we call in if you don’t give a telephone number? Thirdly, have at least somewhat of an outline before you begin so your audience isn’t just listening to senseless giggles, etc. Maybe announce when you’ll be podcasting and come up w/a subject-might arouse more interest. I liked the idea of having a funny “urb leg” and discussing it. good try - keep it up - if nothing else, I like the sound of your voice. Here’s a question I have that needs an answer - do Asian men have straight pubic hair?
Fuckstress doesn’t sound hot at all… :(
I’m giving her a chance to redeem herself by posting a picture of her tits.
Notacreature, straighter than the average bear. A good way to check is to check their armpit hair. I think my armpit hair directly correlates to my pubes. Anybody else?
iS, what an interesting theory. Certainly seems so here.
“do Asian men have straight pubic hair?”
Yes. But luckily we all perm it.
The podcast was well edited…you should have heard all the crap. I’m just sorry that we couldn’t judge the volume levels…cause I’m way too loud and Fuckstress is way too soft.
notacreature > the description clearly said that it was 20 minutes of penis and male rape talk, and yet, you were disappointed at the overwhelming amount of penis content?
And the phone number? Where do I begin.
So is the next podcast going to cover pussies? You know.. to keep it fair and balance.
I would certainly hope so. Although, please refrain from using the term big Haitian vagina. That seems unpleasant.
So, if we had given you the phone number during the podcast would you have called us the first time you listened to it? Or would you call us on one of the consecutive times that you listened to it?
Note to self - Never skype gay men when high on mugs of whiskey. In fact, never EVAR again attempt to do a podcast.
stabs self with pencil
Pencil dick haha!
“Stabs self with Yongfooks pencil dick”
I knew there was some sexual tension in that podcast, but didn’t know it would lead to extreme fetish sex.
Gimme some of that please.
Guig has a radio voice doesn’t he?
And coupled with my radio looks, we’re a match made in heaven.
Guig has a TERRIBLY sexy radio voice.
It’s the nasally nature of it. Girls love noses.
Guig, say what?
Not to mention it’s probably the only easily-comprehendible accent there, compared to my whiny British accent and Elaine’s penchant for machine-gunning out profanities faster than any human could decipher.
I actually thought yongfook’s voice was more pleasant. It seemed that Guig didn’t say all that much, but I’m glad that he was there. If it was 100% yongfook, we’d have to listen to him get drunk by himself again.
Guig (pronounced “gwee”) did at one point go on off this rather entertaining diatribe about the Columbian Hiccup Deaths and how it says they were drinking at the time - but sadly a lot of it got recorded crappily and was rendered incomprehensible so I couldn’t include it. Unless you still find the sound of Guig going “Col….drin…I mean…cup….bang!….fear of artichokes” funny.
Hehehe yeah that bit was funny. My apologies Guig. Didn’t mean to make it sound like you were a sidekick of sorts.
Btw, what did you use to record the skype conversation?
I used Audiohijack to record the voice from Skype and from my mic. I then mixed it all together in Garageband, using the new podcasting studio to put in images, jingles etc.
iS, I hate you. You may never again come to my hilarious blog again. Never. So don’t even try to visit http://thejinx.org/. Now. …or ever.
Anyway, I was even put off at points by how American I sound. Some of those “a’s” were grating. Yongfook (pronounced “wang chi”) has a very soothing, creamy, milky white, soft, buttocks. Mmm. Wait wait. I meant voice. Whoa.
You did geniusly coin the term cockcast. So fitting. Hmm.. that didn’t sound right.
Also, don’t worry, I sound pretty american too. Too Yank-ish. Everyone wants a british accent. You can say “bitch, queef of my face” with a brit accent and it would still sound elegant. Of course to which said girl would probably comply…
I believe Queef of my Face is a type of soup in England, made with soy pieces.
Yes! They’re on sale at Tesco’s, 2 for a quid.
I actually have a slight British accent, and have always found British accents sexually appealing, so I don’t really have any issues with your accent YF. And it’s not actually Guig’s accent (American accents don’t really do it for me) but his tone of voice is sexy… I was reminded of a particular episode of Black Books.
Haha. I didn’t see the pictures and links on iTunes when I first listened. Nice touch, that.
I didnt use iTunes, what DID you see?
your picture.
I would really like to hear you talk about how LONG a guy can stay hard. Not how long his dick is. Seems not to matter too much in the stayin’ hard bit. Really important topic. Please!
need properly laid… oko
well I think if you put a thermometer down his urethra, indefinitely.
In most cases the women aren’t that sick and use viagra to get your dick hard. Apparently that makes it bigger than usual.
Hahahaha… that was some funny shit! Nice to listen to a program w/ some Eurasian characters. There’s certainly nothing even close to that in TexASS. Damn shithole!
So what part of Malaysia is Elaine from and where in Texbutt is Chris from?
H. Meister
Hahahaha… that was some funny shit! Nice to listen to a program w/ some Eurasian characters. There’s certainly nothing even close to that in TexASS. Damn shithole!
So what part of Malaysia is Elaine from and where in Texbutt is Chris from?
Sincerely,
HM
Wait wait wait. …I bet H. Meister is Anonymous.
Born in Austin. Raised in Vermont.
I haven’t been able to download this yet as my sole access to the internet is one bar of wireless in Yamashina Starbucks, which downloads about as fast as the internet did in 1957 BUT… the idea of Yongfook, Fuckstress and Guig all talking in the same mp3 sounds like the conversational equivalent of the Harlem Globetrotters. Did you by chance put skid pads on your knees and slide around basketball court spinning balls (snort) on your fingers while you recorded this? I can’t wait to get some proper iNt@rW3b action.
I’m from malaysia too and let me assure you that most malaysian girls do not swear and talk about male appendages that openly. Guys do.
fuckstress sounds 20-ish. I still find it amazing that she did not end her sentences with a -lah suffix.
something more terrible than male rape: being raped by a transsexual
i almost got brought to tears by the women on the call. she has probably the most annoying voice/grasp of english i’ve ever heard.
less of her john…PLEASE!
this is so boring. I bet fuckstress is still a virgin. she talks exactly like one. very uninteresting.
Really, really dull, guys. Don’t take this up for a living.
Joey - I did the lah thing a LOT. It just happened to be on the bits which yf edited out. The whole thing actually lasted 1.5 hours. And I was already high on whiskey.
Man, these comments here really sting. Cheers. Think I’ll go squish some more hamsters or something kthxbai.
Well I thought it was funny, everyone sounded fine, no heavy breathing or anything. I mean it is Yongfook, I don’t think anyone was expecting a dissertation on the influences of soy on the packaged food industry.
I say more! and invite whomever you want.
Gary: For someone who disses another person’s grasp of the English language, you sure screwed up a lot yourself. “I almost got brought to tears by the women on the call.” ??? What the hell is I almost got brought to tears? And I believe it’s womAn, not women. My oh my. I sure hope you’re not English, because while Fuckstress’s mother tongue ISN’T English, yours probably is. Guess who’s more of a loser.
Georgia: That. Is. About. The. Most. Retarded. Statement. I have EVER heard. Lots of people who’ve had sex can’t summon up enough neurons to string two sentences together. All they know how to do is grunt and moan while doing it, and occasionally they try to make themselves feel a little better by snubbing people online by calling them uninteresting virgins. Oh and I’d recommend you to refrain from making poor investments in bets you’d probably lose in.
what the fuck was with that FOB of a woman?
people, people, retards > Elaine is from Malaysia. Believe it or not, some Asian people actually live in Asian countries. And in those countries, English is spoken both as a second language and with an accent that is unique to that country. Lets be a bit more worldly here and stop taking the piss out of people needlessly - you’re reading a blog by a British, half-Chinese guy living in Japan, I’d like to think that cultural diversity isn’t an alien concept to the majority of you.
How was everyone’s friday evening?
Your next Podcast topic should be something about web design or development. I would definitely be interested in listening to it.
Blah to podcast about web development. I come here for the talk of penises and amusing food. Not to learn. Since when is the internet for learning?
guigs voice sounds totally different from what id imagined. and fuckstress is pretty :D
jon is jon. D:
I’m certainly not surprised at any of the comments here. …except the one about me having a radio voice. I expected just as many put downs as compliments, and I also expected to not respond because responses to comments always end up like you’re taking offense and rarely come out sounding better than, “well let’s see YOU do better!”, or “shut up, ’cause I hate you and I bet YOUR voice is annoying and your face smells like semen!”
But I will say this…Fuckstress rarely had a chance to speak between Jon and I. Being the excessive hams we are, I imagine it’d be hard for anyone to get a coherent sentence in. Previous to this however, I spoke to Fuckstress briefly and she was both mature and well-spoken. So in closing, I’d like to say, “let’s see YOU do better…semen face!”
I’m interested in what you thought my voice would sound like though, h.
honestly, less deep/resonant, more.. pubescent. pleasant surprise though :D
You’ve got a cool voice, no doubt about it, I wish your skype connection was better for the recording tho.
I think the three way makes it cut out at times.
Ah. Bummer. Well folks, now’s about a good time for a beer as any.
…I liked everything outside the detailed discussion of JAMMING stuff in URETHRAS. Shining Jesus on the Cross! That was just painful to listen to. Do any of you HAVE urethras?! How can you talk about that without crying???
My only suggestion is less of that. Oh…and by the way, I got a huge boner from everyone’s voice. No thermometers needed.
Fantastic cast (:
>iS-brilliant re underarm hair - you’re absolutely right on about that! Checked it out and it’s true. >Guig - don’t you know that perming your pubic area is dangerous. Obviously,you’ve never done it ’cause you’d have a very sore, irritated “pink belly”, not to mention your taint! Also, I disagree about you sounding too American - love that Vermont speak, just so long as I don’t hear any Texan twang. By the way-I have the same fear of dying from hiccups and consequently have invented a bonafide foolproof way of getting rid of them. Write me if you want specific directions. >YF-it’s not that you talked so much about cocks-it’s that, besides the thermometer bit, it was rather boring. There’s so much interesting cock talk - but it’s just not all surrounding too big or too little. Ask me if you want some Pointers. And - whoever asked - Yes - I definately would have called in w/ some interesting (or at least entertaining) questions- One last comment-it’s my thinking that if one were to shove a thermometer into one’s urethra, your penis wouldn’t stay hard. I think it would get soft quickly and would break the thermometer w/o help from anyone else. But, what do I know - they’re fascinating things but I don’t have one to call my own.
btw-I think Fuckstress sounds adorable! Don’t listen to those a-hs. Re interesting news trivia and reasons to be grateful for wealthy economies - The Chinese New Year celebration has begun-the large cities of China are emptying as people travel for many hours to their hometowns and villages. Overcrowded trains w/ no bathrooms means standing for long periods wearing, if you’re lucky, the biggest selling item this time of year (and you’d better shop early)-adult diapers.
The thought occured to me too that fuckstress is still a virgin. Let’s start a pool, everybody pitch in 1 dollar so fuckstress can get laid?
Does yongfook get red packets? Or half red packets?
Podcast was fun-would like to have heard more from fuckstress. Plus-you could of said happy birthday to Mozart - not everyday that geniuses turn 250 while still bringing so much joy to our lives. He had a penis too. So much more to talk about besides size. Position when hard (straight out, up, down, and more. Position in pants. Dribbling. To swallow or not to swallow-that is the question. I could go on and on - I am fascinated by those swinging weiners.
Hey yongfook.com was never really a high brow thing. So why the hell are u guys complaining about the “penis talk”? Isn’t it almost expected? Have any of u guys actually tried to do a podcast? Its not easy!
I thought this was a funny podcast. The rape thing was very very very disturbing. And i think guig and fuckstress did a great job! Guig was kinda like the intellectual one in the group. Creme De Menthe by the way.
Did you try having everyone record their own conversation on skype, then everyone sending their piece to yf? That way you can adjust volumes independently, and if someone connection goes wonky it won’t effect the others.
I liked the introduction. In my head, I heard it as
YF: I’m Jon, the Pink Ranger. Guig: I’m Chris, the Black Ranger. FS: I’m Elaine. FUCK YOU.
YF: All right, let’s talk about hamster rape. Guig: I’m part Japanese, and part French. FS: Fuck the hamsters. Fuckity, fuck, FUCK! Lah. YF: Right-o. Thanks for bringing us back on topic, Elaine. What size penis would be appropriate for raping hamsters? Guig: Well, the size would.. Hey, I’m part Creole, and part Nicaraguan. You can go to my website, at thejinx.net, that’s T-H-E-J-I-N-X dot N-E-T, to find out exactly what percentage Maori I also am. Did I mention I am also part Malaysian? FS: No fucking way. You’re pulling my cunt hairs, aren’t you? YF: I have a small pee pee. Did I mention that? FS: Fuck. Guig: I’m part Elf. YF: I have a miniscule dick. FS: Assbitch goatball juniperpoop. Guig: I’m part beef. YF: I have a sub-micron peepy snake. FS: kotek cheebai nasi lemak.
Goddamn it, it’s the thejinx.org, that’s T-H-E-J-I-N-X dot O-R-G.
And I’m part peepy snake too.
“Plus-you could of said happy birthday to Mozart - not everyday that geniuses turn 250 while still bringing so much joy to our lives. He had a penis too.”
Panned for not saying happy birthday to Mozart? You guys have some pretty picky critics.
I hope I don’t get slated for failing to podcast about the fact it was ‘National Stroke a Stoat Day’ in the Swedish town of Vimmerby, a bi-annual festival established by actress Astrid Lindgren in 1968/9. I feel I’ve neglected my duty as a podcaster.
Being the proud owner of an Astrid triple-headed dildo I had to google it up, and can find no reference to such a festival. I am much disappointed.
You also used “penis”, “stroke”, and “bi” in your post. Therefore on further introspection you do seem as qualified to be a podcaster too.
Oh all right, thejinx.org . There, 4 times already it is whored.
One more thing. When Jon said he would welcome your big Haitian-descended cock into his mouth to blow his mind, my brother walked past the room.
Thanks, you fucking gay wankers.
You’re the one listening to gay porncasts with your door open, fucktard.
“One more thing. When Jon said he would welcome your big Haitian-descended cock into his mouth to blow his mind, my brother walked past the room.”
Aww, were you embarrassed because your cock was in your hand? That’s ok, that kinda stuff is what makes puberty so special.
LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD: http://www.yongfook.com/2006/01/30/podcast-call-in/
I loved Fuckstress, lets have more!
Fuckstress, you shouldn’t stress about fucking. Why don’t you come see a friendly gaijin who can help you find some more relaxing ways to get jiggy with mr biggy?
“jiggy with mr biggy?” Funny comment…..Fuckstress is probably a lousy lay…..
I love it when people don’t know what “fuckstress” means.
I love it when people don’t know I’m joking and mistake me for someone who’s too dumb to understand how the word ‘Fuckstress’ relates to the word ‘Mistress’. It’s the best.
I love how people google for “sledgehammer yongfook” and end up on my site. Numbah one.
My apologies, I mistook you for an idiot. They’re everywhere around here.
I nominate “notacreature” and Jon go on a date. Perhaps we can get a blow by blow commentary on the date?
Jon, why not have a podcast where you and notacreature have a virtual date; with sound effects and such.
notacreature: do you find Jon hot and attractive? Would you boink him for the hell of it? Readers of YF.COM want to know!
I would like Yongfook to buy one of the $100 melons and test the theory that you can microwave a rockmelon up to body temperature and then pork it. For comical effect Fuckstress can throw one of those musang? civet cat things on his face just as he’s about to blow, while Guig paddles him. I’ll kick in $1 on PayPal to get the air fare fund started.
notacreature: Prurient–huh? Related to age–huh? Reading your previous postings: comments, suggestions, innuendo inferred etc….it seems you’re the far obvious candidate for the definition of being prurient–age excepted. Yes, I am aware that it is all in fun; perhaps a look at a mirror reflection may help. I say you’re beginning to sound like a nasty, uncouth trailer trash fitting of screen presence on the Jerry Springer Show.
notacreature: granted.
Jon: you should have a voice poll. Have the readers of your forum call in, have a brief 15 sec clip recorded of their voice, and have the general viewship rate the voices on various attributes like: sexiness like Jon, or like Guig or like Kermit or Paris Hilton etc. I certainly like to hear the voices of various members who comment on this blog of yours. It would be fun.
the dame with the singaporean accent is irritating
OR very very nice and thank you for entertaining us for free and can I take you to dinner.
Yeah, Singaporeans are the worst. They steal all the buffet food too.
I am so jealous of this site. Very few comments are wrong, if any at all. Keep the site rocking.Thanks :-) You :-).
Very nice site. I actually found it doing some research on my golf projeect I am getting ready to launch. Do you have a rss feed I can grab? Good job! :-)
I am jealous of this blog. Some very insightful comments. Glad I stumbled across your page.I will make sure to come back.
another good audio file !
[…] So sit back and enjoy the podcast. I encourage you to subscribe to yongfook’s podcast…if only in the hopes that “yours truly” will be invited back for a second round of meaningless banter. Just remember to come back…yongfook is like the sexier version of me…slowly making me obsolete. And remember, those who remain loyal to theJINX.org, will one day have the opportunity to touch my face. « Valentine’s Day It’s all Klingon to me. » Comments: (1) Notes Essays […]