Six of one
Recently I’ve been watching cult British TV series “The Prisoner” again.
It’s a show that stars Patrick McGoohan as a British ex-spy, and whose facial expression is permanently fixed in a curious sneer-like state of confusion and defiance, which is understandable considering that his character in the show gets abducted and is now confined within the invisible boundaries of a bizarre, unknown village, inhabited and run by people whom I have come to refer to as The Minions of Lord Crackpot. It’s basically all about conspiracy, totalitarianism, conformity and small midget butlers. For the period when it was first aired (the late 1960s) it’s originality and general subject matter is pretty groundbreaking. Taking obvious cues from Orwell and William Golding and mixing it with the kind of plotlines, characters and sets that can only possibly be thought-up by someone who is off their tits on the world’s finest hallucinogens, the show caused quite a stir and still has a strong following today despite there only being 17 episodes in total.
An average scene in The Prisoner involves the main character (McGoohan) who is referred to as “No. 6″ humouring his captors for a while until he gets fed up and runs off, only to be apprehended by the village’s border guardian - a massive, autonomous bouncing white ball that you cannot outrun, and which simply blocks your escape route in whatever way it can. Oh also as it bounces or floats towards you it goes “ARRRRRRRRRGHGHHHAAAAA!!!1″ like a marauding flock of valkyrie, so those escapees who are unshaken by the image of a huge white blob bent with the desire to stop you or CRUSH YOU TO DEATH also have a handy aural clue to help you realise you should probably, you know, backpedal a bit.
However, genius originality and McGoohan’s classic, one-eyebrow-raised confused smirk aside, my favourite aspect of The Prisoner is the excellent, stilted 60s dialogue.
(takes place completely deadpan)
No. 6: Who are you.
No. 2: I am No. 2
No. 6: Where is No.1!
No. 2: Ahahaha…you are No.6
No. 6: I am not a number! I am a free man!
And somewhere in all of this I suddenly realised that I HAVE BEEN IN THIS TV SERIES BUT IN REAL LIFE.
The banal conversations that never go anywhere and leave both parties feeling frustrated and confused, the natural isolation thanks to the mountain range that envelops the entire area, the midget butlers, the general, overwhelming sense of helplessness fueling the desire to get the frick out - all of these things almost perfectly describe my situation in the 3 years I spent in the Japanese countryside.
(takes place in Japanese, with me completely deadpan and him convulsing with joy)
Drunken Random Old Guy In Tiny Restaurant: American?
Me: No. British. English.
DROGITR: New York?
Me:That’s definitely America. We have the old one, though.
DROGITR:Do you like Japanese girls?
Me:Yes, every British man does. We put them on toast.
DROGITR:War! Big bomb!
Me:Tennis! Tennis balls! No I’m sorry you’re going to have to explain the rules.
Anyway I digress.
Well sort of. You see all this recent discussion in the comments section of the last review has got me thinking - everyone gets sand up their vagina when I review something that I actually like. There’s a subtle kind of sadism going on there. Well maybe not so subtle. I feel like I’m the ram’s head in your 15 minutes of hate and you’re all screaming things like “EAT DRILL BITS!! EAT AN ANVIL! EAT CANCER-INDUCING THINGS!!! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAH” clapping your hands maniacally, spittle being launched from your mouths with every consonant. I’ve become a freakshow, a plaything, a performer. YOU PEOPLE NEVER SEE THE BLEEDING. YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU JUST DON’T KNOW! I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A FREE MAN!
So anyway, on to my review of Cow Tongue Onigiri.
Oh and for those whose curiosity has been piqued regarding The Prisoner, find out more at this fan site.
Aw, I like your review of less repulsive foodstuffs as well. And, furthermore, Fran-the-snack was hardly disgusting, but the review remains your best work yet. Now, certainly there was a lot of pain associated with that review, but it’s good because it’s true not just because it was raw. Eat what you want and review it: I’ll be perfectly happy.
I only spent fourteen days in Japan, and I think you’ve barely scratched the surface in your exploration of the food oddities. Breakfast was always the most upsetting meal of the day for me: oh joy, another bowl of miso and some salad! Yum. Where’s my goddamn orange juice!
And what the heck were those filled balls of uncooked dough we kept encountering? At least now I know what red bean are, but I still can’t fathom the penchant for chewy, strechy dough. Made me wish I had a portable oven to finish the job for them.
You are going to have to try a lot harder to catch up with the guy over at The Sneeze (I don’t have the link) - he eats truely horrible things : tinned silkworm pupae, dog food, diseased corn kernels.
You don’t even come close with your cow tongue onigiri
What’s all these nonsense about food anyways? I recently caught a snatch of The Six Million Dollar Man, and whilst he was escaping through this dark tunnel with this girl, the following conversation was heard:
Girl: Oh my, how can you see so well in here? It’s so dark!
Steve Austin: I eat a lot of carrots.
xman > why would I have to “catch up” with him? Those things are not Japanese snack foods. People just want more sensational, more disgusting things that they have begun to forget what this site is actually supposed to be about.
Don’t know if you’ve seen, but apparently Sky One are remaking The Prisoner - more over here
One question: Does this thread talk about the last episodes of The Prisoner (i.e. that No. 6 is No.cough)? I’ve been sitting on my last 4 episodes of The Prisoner which I haven’t seen yet, and I don’t want to read this thread in fear that it discusses the conclusion of the series which I already learned too much about. So tell me there’s no spoilers and I’ll read it…but don’t lie…please. I’ll touch you.
Guig > there are no spoilers.
But please still touch me.
On an almost related note, they’ve (well somebody has) made a film of Alan Moore’s classic British comic strip “V for Vendetta” which comes out soon…
http://vforvendetta.warnerbros.com/
No doubt it will suck, but I’m gonna buy a Â¥1600 lottery ticket hoping it doesn’t.
Ok, read it. The Prisoner is a great show. Why can’t you eat something more disgusting? Everyone eats chocolates and potato chips. You should eat like tongue or something-WAIT, no no no…like…a dead person’s foreskin. Why can’t you do that? I’m getting bored here.
You have to check out McGoohan’s other great show “Dangerman/Secret Agent Man” (UK title/US title) that show is awesome. If you think of No. 6 as John Drake from Dangerman it adds to the show.
I love that TV series indeed