ooh that tickles
It’s what your mother always told you. “Being a model won’t be catwalks and orgies and silver plates of cocaine resting on the heads of midgets walking about the room every day” to which you, the young and headstrong firstborn son of the family reply “I’ll show you, I’ll show you all!”, shaking your fists as you head off to your agent to beg for more work. Gerard (not his real name), your agent, tells you he has won a big contract. “Great!” you reply, enthusiastically, “what is it? Nike? Maybe Adidas? Will I get free stuff?”. “Perhaps”, Gerard says, avoiding direct eye contact.
You see, not once in modeling school or those fancy magazines you bought did they ever warn you that one day there would be the possibility of the crown jewel in your modeling portfolio being you, naked on a bed, HAVING SEX WITH A GIGANTIC SCORPION as part of an AIDS awareness campaign. I can only imagine how many hundreds of models must have fled the studio screaming and slapping themselves in the face, trying desperately to forget what they just saw - a huge black arachnid with it’s legs akimbo ready to encase you like an iron maiden taken from H.R. Giger’s “Too Fricked Up” file, and it’s venomous tail poised to drill into your SPINE if you don’t make it orgasm at least seven times.
To the guy who is actually in this photo, I salute you. You have no fear and are possibly the bravest man I have ever laid eyes upon.
One thing is for sure though, you will never, ever have an erection again.
that. is. so. fucking. GROSS.
MY EYES! MY EYES!!
oh so cool. you’re a real blogger now
don’t say that. DON’T EVER SAY THAT.
Hawt.
oh so cool. you’re a real blogger now.
i absolutely LOVE your blog
Congratulations. It’s a blog, isn’t it? Nice one, but: a blog.
according to the scorpion-sex-picture: nobody should do that - even while using a condom. there might be people taking stuff like that seriously into consideration, watching out for a sexy giant piece o’ exosceleton … but it’s wrong! animals in general should do reproductive sports activity only with their own kind!
but what if you could like, make a scorpion have sex with a shark? It’s offspring would be a formidable predator. And probably really good in bed, too.
beams proudly you’re a real boy now.
also, your site looks a little funny in firefox. but maybe it’s just me.
tessa, what part looks funny in Firefox? That’s weird, the whole site is valid xhtml and css, of all browsers, Firefox should be displaying it correctly…
OMG, Tessa are you serious? Maybe the internet in your country is different? what version of the internet do you have? version 1.0 or 2.0?
p.s. if you answer this, you deserve much pain.
a scorpion-shark-sex-slave? well. maybe you’re right. a sharpion would probably be kind o’ entertaining. at least to the eye.
It wouldn’t be a Sharpion, it would be a Scorpk. The deadly and silent Scorpk that can breathe on land and has a sting as big as a your hand. Hidden under it’s gills are silver reflectors that can dazzle and bewilder it’s prey but it wouldn’t need to do that anyway as it can kill you from a mile away just by thinking.
i have firefox, the website looks fine. looks really good. and cute and bubbly.. hm.
admit it, its you in that picture. nice-ass.
hmm sorry, my bad. it does look ok in firefox, my eyes were being wonky last night
I’ve had black-deathier.
It’s amusing that I actually worked at the ad agency that produced this… you should see the giant spider sex ads, those are truly terrifying.
I can’t belive no-one’s mentioned the insanely mysogynistic ‘vagina-dentata-will-eat-you-from-the-cock-up’-ness of this ad. Maybe there’s one for the girls toilets with a picture of a mouldy orc dick, bristling with rusty nails, twitching threateningly next to a virginal young girl, featuring the words “DEATH BY SCHLONG WILL BE YOURS IF YOU DON’T SEW YOURSELF UP RIGHT NOW!”
Andy, I think that’s already an anime or two. I’ve got the DVD around somewhere…
note to andyheather : You can’t show a chick’s ass in an ad as easily as you can a guy’s…
no, but it’s possible.
http://tinyurl.com/brgga
That’s not the best one. The best one is the one where the tarantula’s…err…umm…orally pleasuring the attractive young woman. Well, she seemed to be enjoying it, anyway…
Sentimental and nostalgic. Great. Zachotnah.
Sentimental and nostalgic. Great. Zachotnah.
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I like coffee very much too!
You guys should spent more time with CSS/XHTML books… you site look completely diffrent in Opera - IE - Firefox coffee maker nah!
Same profanity and lack of taste as everywhere. I am used to it. It`s Ok.
hi! i find you ste very nice and useful http://celebrex-.gameday.de
Very nice site. It`s a pleasure to surf in.
A man gotta do what a man gotta do. Have sex with ANYTHING that moves. shrugs
But did you check out the woman who is getting oral gratification from a tarantula?
Both images are …. Umm … sick and wrong, but they do make the excellent point that having unprotected sex is as dangerous as messing with monster size venomous creatures.