Yongfook is a web producer and usability consultant based in Tokyo

WHAT HAVE I DONE.

I have made a huge mistake. It is an error of such magnitude that it puts me firmly on par with the greatest mistake-doers of the modern world, such as the guy who invented pollution and the people behind the TV series “making the band”. What is this enormous faux pas?

I came back to Japan.

Any sane person would never be completely at ease about leaving the relative comfort of warm, sunny and modern Singapore to willingly come back to freezing, wretched Japan because of such trivial reasons as, say, contractual and moral obligations. But me, I actually seemed quite HAPPY about coming back, in the days leading up to the end of my holiday. I’m not sure what that means, but it’s all academic anyway because the moment I actually GOT back, settled onto my ice-cold sofa once again feeling the dull ache of my brain being slowly liquefied by kerosene fumes from my heater, I realised what a terrible terrible thing I had done.

But nahhhhh (damage control damage control irrational fear of Japanese colleagues reading this) I’m only joking. Well, I’m not, since I really do feel like I have just jumped from one amazingly cool situation to one that is completely bollocks, like in Quantum Leap if Dr Sam Beckett ever leaped from being circa 1975 Gene Simmons to being magically transformed into circa getting-nailed-to-a-cross Jesus Christ. But seriously, this kind of thing is to be expected. My emotions will regulate once things return to normality - once my classes start (not much to do except twiddle my thumbs until then), once the other JETs return (many are still on holiday) and crucially, once I GET PAID again because as usual, I’m more broke than the rubber vagina I gave to my old friend Pervy McHumpalot for his 16th birthday, except I’m broke in the other sense of the word, which wouldn’t have allowed me to use the rubber vagina line as easily.

So anyway how was my holiday? Well rather than do this:

“oh it was so totally cool first I went to the pool and I was like oh my god this is so nice and then we walked to the beach and it was ok and then I had a drink and then I put on some suntan lotion and then I touched my nipple and then” etc etc

I’ll just give you a bunch of galleries to look at because lets face it, hearing about other people’s holidays is really fricking boring. It’s something you ask out of courtesy and expect to hear a little about, but generally just shut off after about 5 seconds. This is typically what someone actually hears when they ask a friend about their holiday:

Bob: So, Peter! How was your holiday? Peter: Oh it was amazing. I went to Thailand and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ladyboy BLAH BLAH BLAH blah BLAH BLAH BLAH! Blah.” Bob: Nice. So, Thailand huh. Peter: Yep!

Call it a heightened sense of mutual respect for visitors to this site, or simply a flimsy excuse for not actually writing anything, but I’m not going to put you through that. I’ll just say that my holiday was rather excellent and I had a great time and oh look your eyes are already skipping to the next paragraph aren’t they.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2004 at 7:03 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.