that’s no moon…
From: yongfook Sent: 26 November 2003 3:23 To: Ben, Lloyd, Jan, Pete
Oh yeah all that prep for my presentation and the timeline of stuff I have to do that I wrote out - HAHA I blatantly haven’t followed any of it. Ahh it’s like at uni except with no real consequences. Other than everyone in the prefecture thinking my presentation was shit.
From: Ben Sent: 26 November 2003 5:23 To: Jon, Lloyd, Jan, Pete
yup you’re more likely to write a blog about how you aren’t keeping to your schedule than actually do something on it.
TADAAA and here we are. I am HIDEOUSLY behind schedule. Think of the smallest amount of work I could have done. Thinking about it? Got it? SMALLER. No but seriously, I have done a fair amount of work, for I am not a completely irresponsible gimpoid. Thankfully, I’m not at any level of non-preparation where I would actually need to be worried. I’ve almost completed the handout and I have started on the Keynote (powerpoint but lovely and maccish) work, but I am still a LONG way behind where I thought I would be at this point. Hey I’ve just realised that’s an analogy for my ENTIRE LIFE.
Anyway, despite the fact that I’m not too far down the shitter with this, it is going to be tough going as I still have a fair amount of work to do. This would be no problem if it weren’t for the fact that I, you know, have a JOB, so whatever work I do is done in the few hours between coming home from work and crying myself to sleep and praying to baby Jesus that I manage to pull it all off without:
a) making the presentation just generally unhelpful and boring b) forgetting some vital bit of preparation, like THE WORDS, or THE POINT c) creating a presentation so bad that at the end, audience members storm the platform and punch their fists right through my face.
So basically I’m pretty snowed under at the moment, what with all this prep, my 2 eikaiwa classes, aikido and music practise and it’s having a noticeable effect on my ability to keep awake during the day. I have been really groggy all week (which is probably also due to the fact that I’ve started using the kerosene heater o’ death again since it’s become rather chilly lately) and to say that I’ve been slightly ‘off the ball’ would be both a huge understatement AND a really unimaginative idiom.
My brain has all but lost the capacity for autonomous thought. I find myself responding to people with either grunts or quotes that I remember from films, to conserve brain energy thus preventing me from slipping into a spontaneous coma in any given conversation:
Supervisor: Jon, your schedule is slightly different next week - do you know what you have to do on Wednesday? Me: Serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law. Supervisor: No, that’s not right. That’s not right at all. You have to go to Elementary School on Wednesday - they need you for an observational class. Me: Dead or alive, you’re coming with me. Supervisor: What? Me: Murphy.
Student: Jon-sensei, I saw you in your car at the weekend. Where did you go? Me: Go? GO? GOzer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him; that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zools knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Teacher: Jon-sensei o-hayou! Saki no do-nichi-getsu no yasumi ni nani wo shita no? Me: So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o’clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn’t go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head ’round the door, and mentions there’s a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it’s closed. So there’s me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they’ve got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son… that’s a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show. Teacher: brown?
