Just say DAME! to crack
I picked something up in class today.
Of course, you are probably thinking it was something interesting, like ‘a space virus’, ‘golden turd’ or ‘Yukari-chan’, but sadly its none of those things.
Every JET will know about ‘grammar time’ where the JTE will take time to explain the grammar point of the class in Japanese, leaving the ALT to sort of pace around aimlessly, feigning a sense of interest and indeed trying to preserve the notion that you are still involved in the lesson in some way. I liken this to my life’s version of the matrix ‘bullet time’ in that things to indeed slow down to a crawl and I would feel the same kind of indifference in being shot at by bullets that are moving slower than an inbred hippo and helpfully emitting a low GUJJJJJJJJJ sound so as to alert me to their presence, as I do in hearing the Japanese explanation on the correct usage of past participles when Kumi talks to Tom about having been to fricking Ulaanbaatar.
I wish there were things I could do to ’spice up’ grammar time (like for example, swinging round as its about to start and saying “STOP. Grammartime” in an MC Hammer stylee, which I’m sure would be understood about as well as walking into school with a dismembered horses head stuffed into my trousers and speaking to everyone in a made-up language) but honestly speaking, this type of grammar explanation IS essential to the kids’ understanding, and this really is the main job of the JTE, just like it is mine to leave my self-esteem in a neatly folded pile by the door of the classroom, every time I enter it.
Anyway, during these times I find myself wandering around the classroom filling my mind with thoughts such as “what is for lunch” and “do bees masturbate” and inevitably my eyes will be drawn to wall displays, posters and timetables, which gives me a little bit of reading practice.
Schools are full of anti-this, anti-that propaganda in the form of public service posters. Usually its more lightweight issues such as drinking, smoking or eating correctly etc but today in my 2nd grade class was a whole stack of these leaflets warning about drug abuse.
I know it’s a bit insensitive of me to poke fun at something that is so obviously there to serve an honourable purpose, but since this site seems to constantly flirt with borderline racism much of the time, I figured it wasn’t such a huge step for me to progress to this. A few months down the line you can expect diary entries containing sentences like “I had a great day setting fire to charity workers” and “pandas taste great!”.
Anyway, this leaflet. First of all it was funny to me because I imagined that some meeting was held and that this 2nd grade class was singled out as a drugs nightmare just waiting to explode, but mainly the thing that made me smile was the cheerfulness of the whole thing. The main focus of the front is a big cartoon globe with a face, arms and baseball cap, wagging its finger in a disapproving manner. The words “DAME. ZETTAI” accompany this on either side. This is the equivalent of saying “NOPE. NO WAY” or “You REEEEALLY can’t”, which is a far cry from the drug abuse prevention slogans I remember back in the UK like, “TAKE ACID AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE BORN TIEDYED” and “JESUS HATES CRACKHEADS”. Maybe not exactly like those, but I guess I am trying to say they contained a lot more hyperbole and imperative than this leaflet. On the reverse was short manga of the various stages this guy does through after breathing in paint thinner, and some cartoon representations of actual drugs. I mean, short of putting an evil cackling face and perhaps a backwards baseball cap on the cartoon syringe and the marijuana leaves, they couldn’t have done a better job of transforming the subject of drug abuse into something that was altogether quite a fun thing to look at. I’m awaiting the ones on teen pregnancy and domestic violence with a kind of horrible optimism.
abominate contextual,unknowable fiery:jellyfish:… Thanks!!!