Christmas!!!!!!! is a month away
Christmas is but less than a month away.
Yesterday evening was spent at our local “we sell everything, we do” shop, perusing the Christmas paraphernalia. Sitting proudly on a display next to a toy Santa Claus that perpetually gyrated its hips whilst singing “Jingle Bell Rock” was the selection of Christmas trees that I may be choosing from in the near future.
An assortment of artificial trees was available to buy. Most were pre-decorated and required little more than removal from the box, to christen your house with festive cheer. Initially, me and my friend were horrified,
“Pah!” ,we snorted. “Its all wrong!”, we hissed. “This negates the entire point of a Christmas tree”, we reasoned, slapping the nearest Japanese person clean in the face.
However, our rage soon subsided as we gradually realised how cool some of the trees were. From Hello Kitty-shaped baubles to delicately intertwined fibre-optic lights, these trees were definitely on the funky side of the tacky-o-meter.
As it happens, I did not purchase a tree. The available spectrum was too varied for my withered brain to make a choice within the time frame we allotted ourselves (near to an hour). That and the continual bickering of the red and white fairies above my head whilst making any kind of consumer decision nowadays was enough to leave me both treeless and mentally fatigued at the end of the shopping trip.
An example dialogue between the fairies and I would be like so:
Red Fairy: Jon, you should buy Biohazard Zero - come on, the graphics look sweet. White Fairy: Don’t listen to him Jon, you need to save all you can for your holiday, and you know you have end-of-year parties next month that are going to cost you money. Me: Yes, I suppose you are right, but these graphics are quite sweet. Red Fairy: AND video games make you more popular with women. AND if you play this game lots, you wont have time to eat, so it will actually save you money in the long run. White Fairy: Red Fairy is talking bollocks. Don’t think that just because I’m wearing white, I wont kick your fricking arse if you buy this goddamn game. Me: Ok. Yes. I shouldn’t buy this game. (puts game back on shelf) Red Fairy: Hey look at that neat fishing rod over there!
And so on.
A simple list of why Artificial Christmas Trees are better than real Christmas trees. Artificial Christmas trees last longer than real trees. Artificial Christmas trees are safer than real trees because they are not a fire hazard. Studies show that plastic artificial Christmas trees are thrown out after ten years. There is no hassle in buying artificial Christmas trees because they are found in many shops around Christmas. Artificial Christmas trees can be decorated with tinsel or foliage coloured tinsel. Artificial Christmas trees are generally inexpensive, because they are made out of cheap inexpensive materials whereas many cheaper live trees are of poor quality as well as they deteriorate quickly. Shop around to find a tree that you like within your price limit! Artificial Christmas trees don’t litter the floor with pine needles like real trees do. Artificial Christmas trees don’t bother you if you don’t like the smell of pine or have allergies. If you happen to like the smell of pine you can buy a special pine spray for your artificial Christmas trees. Artificial Christmas trees can’t rot like real trees can. Artificial Christmas trees are easy to assemble and easy to store away. Artificial Christmas trees don’t weigh much.
I am glad to find your site- now I know what a good one looks like.
It would be fantastic if you could post some pictures of the japanese Christmas trees. I would love to see pictures of the Hello Kitty shaped tree, etc. :)