Staying alive
Staying alive. The fundamental goal of any conscious human being, the ever-pertinant struggle of man against himself and natures elements. A concept so important that the Bee Gee’s decided to write a whole song about it.
Achieving this in the tundra-like wastelands of frozen paddy fields that make up the Japanese inaka in winter is difficult. For want of a more lyrical allegory, trying to keep heat inside a Japanese house is much like trying to keep hot coffee inside a paper bag.
I was initially sceptical about using a kerosene heater - the combination of fumes and flammable liquids indoors seemed to have an overwhelming message of danger. One cold night I arrived back home quite drunk, and decided it would be a fantastic idea to mess around with said danger. After filling up the heater and spilling kerosene all over my clothes and porch, I went inside to try and start the thing up. Leaving kerosene footprints all over my floor, I hulked the ageing piece of crap into my living room, all the time thinking how for the next few days, my whole house would be a potentially horrific, fiery accident waiting to happen.
Not having any kind of clue as to how to use the kerosene heater, I pathetically stabbed at it with match after match, until my patience wore away and I was too cold to feel the cold. Somewhere in all this, the alcohol ebbed away slightly and it occurred to me how under any other circumstances, this would be really really stupid.
The next day I proclaimed “my heater is broken!” to my supervisor, logically basing this conclusion on that single half-hearted drunken encounter. Of course, it wasn’t broken at all, but now I know how to use it, after a 2 second demonstration by my supervisor. You have to press a button.
Anyway, the crux of this ramble - kerosene heaters are a very good thing. Although they take a little while to get up to their full temperature, I now remember what it is like to be able to feel my hands and feet at night in Japan.
Although, because of the fumes, I no longer have any childhood memories and I sometimes speak in tongues.
[…] Why Japan has so many paraffin heaters is another matter altogether; even in my brand new block of flats with the almost unheard of luxury of double or bonded pair glazing on all windows and underfloor heating, the people directly above us own one. Thank goodness our place is also kitted out with a full complement of smoke detectors! Q: Please tell me who you think is a great proprietor or founder. (Free answer) […]