You gots mail
You’ve got mail.
In conclusion of his perennial quest to find my whereabouts, the deliveryman ran into the middle of my Junior High School sports field, presented me with a ‘reshiito’ and beckoned me to sign. The excitement of receiving a package from home had been slightly dulled by the alarm at how easily a stranger can find my exact position within the village, in a matter of minutes.
After solving the mind-numbingly intricate conundrum of plastic bags and sellotape that en//d the bounty, I was able to look at the contents. Opening the package from my parents was like removing the lid from the Ark of the Covenant. A chorus cried out “Alleluia” and a blinding light burst forth from the box. I slumped onto my knees in genuflection, head hung back and arms reaching towards the heavens.
I now have deodorant.
Deodorant is not widely used by men in Japan. It is especially rare to find anti-perspirant deodorant. It is also possible to purchase “non-scented” non-anti-perspirant deodorant which I imagine is tantamount to throwing a load of dust all over yourself. Having run out of the single can of deodorant I brought to Japan (just call me Mr Organised), I have been using Japanese brands - which make no noticeable difference to your body’s odour.
So, whilst the balmy 36 C daytime temperature we have been experiencing every day might be enjoyable at a beach, its very much less enjoyable when experienced in a non-air conditioned classroom of 30 kids fresh from playing sports. Your shoulders lurch as you scream “THIS. IS. A. PEN” for the tenth time, causing rivulets of sweat to drip from your back down into the valley of your arse. Flowers wilt as you walk near them, babies cry and dogs get nosebleeds. You reek to high hell and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Thanks God for parents.
